The Cubicle Cookbook

Had a busy weekend doing some fun things...including taking Avi and Lauren on an adventure to Breezy Point to do some fishing (or attempt to). But more on that later when I upload the pics from my digital camera.

But, one of the things I've been wanting to mention for a while but haven't got around to it yet, was a result of me cooking in my cube recently.

As you've seen from past posts, I've resorted to grilling sandwiches on my portable Hamilton Beach grill at my desk.

Today was no different as I turned my rather ordinary brought-in turkey and cheese sandwich on wheat bread into a nice grilled turkey and cheese sandwich that melted in my mouth.





The funniest part of cooking in my cube is the smell of grilled goodness permeating throughout my office. Everyone is like, damn that smells good!

One of my co-workers Beth was joking around one day and said I should start a cubicle cookbook! That's a fantastic idea. Another co-worker Lori said I should have a daily menu and start charging people for "cube-cooked" lunch. Another fantastic idea! Hey, maybe I won't need to depend on "cart lunch" anymore if I'm just going to be cooking in! And if I can make some money on the side as well that's even better. Although I think I'll need to purge some files and set up a kitchen countertop. That and I'll need a bigger griddle. Cause if I'm gonna make a profit, pumping out one sandwich at a time isn't gonna cut it!

My new invention!

So yesterday I was motivated enough to bring my own lunch. I had made a sandwich consisting of turkey breast and cheese w/ mustard.


My sandwich "pre-grilling"

However I really wasn't in the mood for a "cold sandwich"...so remembering that I had a Hamilton Beach (Foreman like) grill at my desk (because doesn't everyone have a portable grill at their desk), I decided to play mad scientist and "grill my sandwich".


My sandwich "post-grilling"

And boy was that just the smartest move ever! The bread was nice and toasty. The cheese slightly melted, the turkey warmed through. What an ingenious idea! I mean, just think how much I singlehandedly just revolutionized the sandwich eating industry! I can develop a chain of "sandwich" shops who's catch is that all of the sandwiches are grilled! That would be awesome wouldn't it?

Wait...what do you mean those already exist? Fuck! Are you kidding?!?! Goddammit...everytime I think of a good invention someone else beats me to it.

Anyway...got a lot on my plate today so this one is short and sweet for now...I may be back for more later...if Lumberg lets me.


Hello Chris, what's happening. Yeah, I'm gonna have to ask you to stop blogging for now. The TPS reports are due asap. Thanks!

$11 for lunch?

So I was thoroughly disgusted after buying lunch today. Instead of going to the grocery store like I planned to go by cold cuts and a loaf of bread to make sandwiches the rest of the week (the cost effective and sensible thing to do), I had too much to do this am so I just picked up lunch at the good ole Silo Cafe. You'll know thanks to previous posts that this place is hoping...in fact, there's about 100 people in there at one time during the lunching hours. They're making money hand over fist without a doubt.

Anyway, I ordered a Roast Beef sandwich on whole wheat bread, with Muenster cheese, lettuce, tomatoes and hot peppers. You'd think that'd cost $5-$6 bucks maybe. Nope...$7.25. $7.25 for a sandwich on regular bread. Not even a fucking hero. That's absurd. Throw in the small bag of pretzals and the Honest-T, and lunch cost me $11 and change!


The $11 lunch

Fucking absurd. Really. They fucking price gauge you there like a bitch. Not the first time I complained about that either. I think I'm done with them for a while. Yes, their food is generally good and the choices are varied. But you know what, if they are gonna charge $7.25 for a fuckin sandwich I'm going elsewhere.

Serves me right I guess for not going to the store and bringing my own lunch. But that's the price you pay when you're a slave to the vast culinary wasteland of Midtown.

Speaking of Midtown and culinary wasteland...for those who haven't heard of the site before, MidtownLunch.com is a great review of all the affordable places to eat lunch in Midtown. Site owner and reviewer Zach Brooks and his site has been featured in numerous news articles and online features in the past year or so. And today, I had the priviledge of having my very own profile placed on the site. Cool stuff.

Check it out on MidtownLunch.com


I'm hoping to work with Zach on my "super secret" project coming out later this year so stay tuned!

Still ringing...

So its 1:45pm and my ears are still ringing. Somebody make it stop!!!

This wasn't the first time my ears were left ringing (in a bad way) after a Yankee game. As you'll remember back on April 30th, when I spoke about those "children" (i.e. heathens) who got into a screaming match above and below me

So far today I've thought someone called my name, twice (neither time it was for me), I've heard the phone ring a few times (wasn't ringing) and I think I even heard someone whisper "Rosebud" (I haven't seen Citizen Kane in over a decade). So needless to say my ears are still way out of tune.

The only salvation I've had today was a nice plate of chicken parm from Bella Napoli.



You don't get much better than Bella Napoli as far as chicken parm is concerned (i haven't gotten around to my story on the best chicken parm in the city yet...i will soon though. promise!). You can either get a chicken parm hero or a plate matched with ziti or salad. I opted for the salad today since I can't afford to be sleeping on my keyboard this afternoon. The salad with nice and fresh, with big beefy tomatoes and fresh cucumbers, despite the fact that I splashed balsamic vinegar all over my desk. Definitely worth a visit for a nice lunch (and reasonable too - under $7 for the combo) or quiet dinner if you're over in the midtown area. They make some mean pizza too, as evidenced by the lines that are out the door on a daily basis.


If you donta go to the bella napoli i'm gonna send the vito afta your assa. Capice?

Btw...just looked up Capice (pronounced ka-pea-shh) in the Urban Dictionary:

Capice: "Asking for agreement, understanding, belief. Answered with itself. Often used in italian mafia-type settings to emphasize understanding."

Example:
Frank: "If you dont shutup, im going to bust your frickin head open with a baseball bat, capice?!"

Tony: "Capice"

Haha...awesome...gotta love the Urban Dictionary! Wonder if I can use Capice as a Scrabble word someday??? Hmm...I can imagine the conversation would go something like this:

Capice (on the board)

Opponent: Capice? That's not a word!

Me: Capice is a fuckin word you fuckin asshole. Now that's 27 points with the Triple Word Score. Put it in the fuckin books. Capice?! (brandishing my baseball bat, pocket knife and molotov cocktail).

Opponent: Ok...ok...it's a word.

Don't believe the hype

The recent fad of burger joints in NYC has led to a debate of sorts on which place serves up the best burger. If you polled 10 people, you'd probably get 10 different responses on someone's favorite. Certainly favorites like PJ Clarke's, J.G. Melon's and the Burger Joint at Le Parker Meridian will make anyone's top 10 list. While others will opine Corner Bistro, Shake Shack, Uncle Nick's or various others. While I certainly don't have enough time to go into a full fledged debate on this topic (plus i'm saving it for a "super secret special new blog to come in a few months"), I did try one of the new hotspots in "Burger Land" last night called Zip Burger.

Bridget & I actually kinda accidently stumbled upon it after wandering around the east side looking for a place to eat. I remembered that a few people told me I should definitely try it sometime. Actually some have gone so far as to tell me: OMG it's the best burger around!!! (those people shall remain nameless, even though it's doubtful they're readers here anyway). Now while I value everyone's opinion, I'm also a skeptic at heart. So I decided we should try it for ourselves.

Zip Burger is cut along the lines of the recent crop of "build your own burger" places, like Good Burger or Better Burger.

(Warning: Side rant coming. Do you think the Build a Bear workshops led anything to the build a burger concept? Did some "burgerpreneur" go into a Build-A-Bear one day with his child and say, damn...you know what...these guys are onto something. I wonder if this would work with burgers instead of bears! By golly, I think I have something here!


"Build-A-Bear" may have led to the formation of the "build a burger" concept

Anyway, the whole building a burger from the bun up idea is pretty nifty, right down to picking your own bread. You get to choose from a Beef, Veggie, Salmon or Turkey burger (the latter three will cost you $6, the beef- $4.50). Then you pick your bun -the "classic bun" costs nothing, but a whole wheat, sourdough, english muffin or lettuce bun will cost you extra. Then you select your cheese, which ranges from American to Gouda. Then come the toppings. Surprisingly the only toppings that are free are pickles (they must have a pickle tree in the back). Anything else will cost ya. Lettuce? Cough up a quarter. Tomato? 25 cent. Onions (red - fity cent; vidalia - 75 cent). Applewood smoked bacon? Dollar fity. So as you can see, "building" a big burger is gonna cost you pretty quickly. Plus it's kind of pushing things a little when you start charging for burger "staples" like lettuce and tomatoes.

I opted for a Vermont Cheddar Beef Burger with pickles, lettuce, tomato and red onion on a whole wheat roll. That came to $6.50. Which isn't bad for a bar let's say, but for a "fast food" joint...you're starting to get into that "better be worth it for the money" area. We got a sack of fries in a brown paper bag (which allowed the oils to collect nicely). I added on a strawberry shake and a mint infused unsweetened iced-tea.


My Zip Burger, built from the bun up

The burger itself was definitely juicy and you can tell it was hand made. The meat fell apart as you bit into the burger, which is a good sign of a hand crafted burger. Being one who handcrafts my burgers as well, I appreciated the effort that goes into making hand-built burgers. The bun was soft and tasty, but wasn't firm enough to handle the burgers and toppings, and ended up falling apart on me after a few bites. Had the bun been grilled a bit it may have firmed up a bit to handle the load. The fries were nice and oily, and decent, but definitely not the best i've had (i'm more of a salty, shoe string type fry guy myself). The shake was very nice (hi-five!) and definitely went down smoothly.

Overall I'd say the burger was decent, definitely not "the best i've ever had" nor the worst I've ever had. It was passable, although for $6.50 I'd probably just as soon go to a bar and order a "pre-conceived" burger that came with the standard ingredients. So the jury's still out. But as far as being "OMG worthy!" like a few have told me...well I'm not so sure about that. While its a good suggestion for a take out lunch or a no-frills sit down dinner on the east side (i'm not a fan of getting food like this delivered mainly because you're taking the handling of the food out of your hands - but more on that at a later date) I wouldn't willingly go out of my way to get it.

Just like the vastly overtrumpeted (and overcrowded) Shake Shack, and the hit or miss Better Burger, sometimes, my friends it's best to listen to Public Enemy when they say "Don't Believe the Hype!"


Listen to Public Enemy: "Don't believe...doe doe don't believe the hype!"

My stomach is ready to disown me

So I'm sitting here absolutely starving...but I'm waiting on a call from one of my clients so I'm in essence chained to my desk. Now I know what people on a hunger strike must feel like. This is worse than chinese water torture!

What makes it worse is everyone is going out to lunch or bringing their lunch back to the office. Just smelling the fried goodness of chinese food is making my mouth water. Plus it didn't help that all I had for breakfast was some muscle milk shake thing that was supposedly a meal supplement.



It tasted pretty good though - I got the chocolate shake. Although I don't really notice a difference in muscle mass today...I guess you're supposed to do something called "lifting" to notice a change in muscle mass. Not sure what that is. Why don't these shakes just do the lifting for you? Or is that just what Human Growth Hormones are for?

Speaking of eating, this weekend is the Big Apple BBQ fest in Madison Square Park. I haven't gone in the past but wanted to go this year. Although I may think twice about that since the crowds are absolutely ridiculous. You can expect to wait over an hour just to get a "plate" of food from one of the BBQ pitmasters that come in from around the country.


Hate crowds and lines? The Big Apple BBQ is definitely not for you

I think it's $8 per plate at each of the pitmaster stations...which is probably the equivalant of one rib and a "dollop" of pulled pork. I mean, that's great and all, if you weighed about 80 pounds and got full from inhaling fresh air. If I'm waiting an hour for some BBQ, my plate better be overflowing with food. I want a full rack of ribs and a heaping order of sides. But that's definitely not what you're getting here. You're getting a "sampling" of food. And for those who are food savvy like myself, sample = "small portions". I may be off on that assessment since I've never been...but i doubt your plate is overflowing with food.

Last year I believe they had 6 pits, and this year its up to 10 pits...so maybe the wait time will fall to under an hour. You actually are recommended to buy a "Fast Pass" for your food - so you can in essence cut line, similiar to what you can do at Disney. I think it's $100 for the fast pass, which entitles you to $84 dollars worth of food and beverage, admission to one of the "BBQ seminars" and a free t-shirt. I'm sorry...when I think seminar, I think sitting/standing around someone talking for an hour with no handouts. As cool as the topic may be, aren't you just wasting your $25??? Wouldn't you rather just eat your $25 dollars worth? Especially since the lines are an hour plus per pit...

While this by and large is a great idea to have these pitmasters exhibit their wares in NYC..I think I'm definitely gonna pass again this year.

a) I hate waiting for food. Call me whatever you like...but I don't wait over an hour for food. Just not my style to stand there on line like I'm taking handouts at a soup kitchen. There's millions of places to eat in the city...if you have to wait an hour to get in somewhere, go somewhere else. Unless it's a fancy place like Nobu where they make you wait as "part of the charm". Otherwise I'd just as happily go to the restaurant down the block.

b) If I'm gonna spend $100 on BBQ, I'd just go to the BBQ restaurant itself and chow down. I know you can't get the BBQ from all over the country that often and its great that these pitmasters fly in from all over the place to cook. But don't you think its gonna be better at the actual restaurant itself? Shit, spend the few hundred on airfare and hotel and make a road trip out of it. Plus three of the pitmasters serving up food are from New York restaurants. Why not just save yourself the waiting and go up to Dinosaur BBQ in Harlem or Blue Smoke in Midtown? For $100, I guarantee you can eat like a champ at a BBQ restaurant! You're certainly not gonna get just one rib and two ounces of pulled pork for your troubles. You're gonna get 20 ribs and 10 pounds of plled pork.

c) The pits are only open from 12-6...meaning you have 6 hours to eat. If you average a wait time of an hour per pit...not counting waiting on line for beverages...you're looking at only getting to maybe 5 out of the 10 pits, if you're lucky. I know for some people, one or two pits are enough. But for us fat folk, if I'm devoting a day to BBQ, I want as many plates as I can get my hands on. Call me crazy, but that's just my style.

d) You know how much further your $100 can go at other places? Just think about all the White Castle burgers, sides and chicken rings you can order with $100!


This feast of a meal probably cost $25...at most

Anyway, sorry to get off on such a huge side rant about this event. Maybe I'm angry. Angry because my stomach has declared a revolt against me. I don't blame it, poor thing...I'm basically giving it the Lindsay Lohan/Nicole Richie don't eat anything all day treatment. I'd revolt too!

Post blog note...I ate lunch around 2pm EST...2 slices of pizza. The revolt is over. The stomach has declared a cease fire. The national guard can stand down. Let freedom reign!

Not half bad!

So yesterday I took a walk for lunch to Madison Square Park (those will remember that my last time in the park I ran into a begging squirrel). On my way to the park I stopped at Subway (largely thanks to the $1.99 6” sub coupons I have at my desk). It was hotter than hell in the Subway for some reason and when I looked down at the cold cuts it looked like they were wilting away. So instead going with a cold cut sandwich like an Italian BMT or a Subway Club, I asked for grilled chicken. Lo and behold they were out of grilled chicken. Crap. (They were also out of coffee – brawl ensued. Airplane movie reference if you don’t get it). Scrambling, I saw the chicken cutlets and since they looked like the only healthy (as in appearance) alternative, I decided to go for a chicken parm.

Yes, a chicken parm. At Subway. I know, I know…I’m a Brooklyn boy. Getting a chicken parm at subway for me is like someone from New England ordering a Manhattan Clam Chowder. It’s just not right. I got the sandwich on Italian bread with provolone cheese (since they don’t have mozzarella cheese at Subway) and they toasted it in their “ovens”.


Unconfirmed reports say Subway chains use Easy Bake Ovens to “toast” their sandwiches

For toppings I got tomato (added some sweetness) and green peppers (added some crunch). I got a drink with my sub and decided on a “crazy concoction” of ice tea, lemonade and fruit punch (talk about a sugar rush). After passing on the chips and cookies (although I love the cookies at Subway – very underrated. Especially the white chocolate macadamia), I ventured into the park searching for an open seat. I passed the Shake Shack which had an hour long line yet to order food no one was at the pick up counter waiting for their order. Hmm…bizarre. Maybe they ran out of meat! (another brawl ensued). Anyway, after searching through the entire park I finally found an open bench, plopped down and prepared myself for a disappointing lunch option.

I took my first bite and you know what…it’s not half bad! The bread was nice and crispy. The chicken was actually edible and not too rubbery. The tomato sauce was nice and sweet. The green pepper gave the sandwich an extra crunch. I looked at the sandwich in confusion and took another bite. Same result. Pretty good.


Even Mikey would like Subway’s version of Chicken Parm

Now I’m not about to say it comes close to any “authentic” chicken parm hero, but if you were in a pinch and needed a chicken parm fix, Subway was actually not a bad alternative. It was probably more to do with the crispiness of the bread from their “toasting”, but all in all it’s probably one of the better things I’ve ever eaten at Subway. I’m sure if Jared were around, he’d wholeheartedly agree!

Sauget DOES NOT equal Heaven.

Figures. On a night where I wanted an easy match I get a tough one. I knew it was gonna be tough because I couldn’t loosen up. No matter how I stretched my shoulder was still tight. It affected my backhand tremendously. That and the guy I played was in his mid 20s and quick as hell. So any passing shot I hit he got. Any ceiling shot I hit to move him backwards he was fast enough to get back for. I really felt my age last night, which was kind of disappointing. I know I haven’t played in a long time so I’m still rusty. But you know that feeling when you know you’re better than someone but you lose anyway? I guess maybe Al Gore knows how I feel. Da-dum-dum. Hey-oh!

Ok. So I have a confession to make. Apparently I was wrong. Sauget, IL does not equal Heaven as I previously stated. In fact it looks like it's the exact opposite based on this description:

"This is Sauget, Illinois. I mean that literally. Aside from a small knot of trailers and small houses just south of here, this is the entire town. East St. Louis's neighbor to the south is nothing more than a refinery that spews pollutants at the city's inhabitants day and night and gives them zero tax revenue in return. "




Ouch, so I guess I should adjust my statement then. I mean Sauget does have its good qualities. Apparently they are all for free enterprise. And they are very pro business. But I’m going to adjust my statement nonetheless.

Heaven = The Gateway Grizzlies.

That's more appropriate given that
a) the team’s owner/marketing department invented the burger not the town
b) Gateway can be identified as the gateway to heaven.

So my apologies to the residents of Sauget, IL. Didn’t mean to anoint you “holy status”! Sainthood has been reserved for the Gateway Grizzlies.

In other news, I went out to take a walk during the 70 degree day we had yesterday and I went to one of my favorite lunch spots (no, not the strip club or the bar) Madison Square Park. Being that I used to work one block away from the park (and now work 8 blocks away) I took the leisurely stroll and grabbed a Roast Beef & Muenster sandwich from my old eating haunt 80 Deli. I went over to the park and as you could imagine the benches were jammed with people. So I sat on the outskirts of the park on 26th between Madison and 5th.

I sat in the middle of this row of 5 benches and the guy at the end was sitting smoking a cigar. I looked more closely to what I thought was a pet sitting next to him. It was a squirrel. Sitting on the bench. No more than one foot away from him. And the man was hand feeding the squirrel. I’ve seen people feed squirrels before but never one that’s sitting next to you on a bench.

The squirrel took his morsel and ran away. Minutes later the squirrel hops back on the bench and checks the man again. He’s out of food so what does the squirrel do but hop on over to me. He sits next to me and looks up at me. I talk to him (because you know squirrels speak too) and say Hey Buddy, you want some food? What happened next was crazy. The squirrel hopped off the bench and sat in front of me. He got on his hind legs and lifted his two front paws in the air begging for food! Insane. I’ve never seen a squirrel actually beg for food before. They must be taking clues off the dogs in the park.

I went to grab my camera phone but that spooked him off. So I took out a piece of Smartfood Popcorn I was eating (the White Cheddar flavor is good stuff) and held it out. He came scurrying over and sat in front of me. I tossed him the piece and he took it and sat against the tree nibbling away.


A friendly, begging squirrel enjoying some Smartfood White Cheddar popcorn I fed him

The bastard pigeons must have saw this and came swooping down around the bench. And you wonder why I want my hunting license! After successfully shooing the pigeons away another squirrel came over. I fed him said popcorn but alas he wasn’t a fan.

Anyway, that was crazy. I can’t believe a squirrel begged for food in front of me. Good for the squirrels, they’ve come a long way. Perhaps I’ll need to get one as a pet!

Best Lunch Deal in the City

So, as all of you know I'm a food junkie and based on prior posts on this blog I'm extremely opinionated when it comes to my food. That being said, I tend to frequent places, often by myself, to get a little down time from the office. Bars are among my favorite lunch spots since they are typically not crowded during lunch (except during march madness) and they tend to have surprisingly good food during the day (when people aren't drunk enough to know the difference).

That being said some of my favorite places have lunch specials, which will either be the meal alone or both a drink and the meal. Remedy Bar on 52nd and 3rd had a good lunch special...it was $9.99 for most of the menu items and that came with a beer or soda (it's since gone up to $12.99 for a limited number of items). But deals like that are what I'm after.

So one day I happened to drop into the popular happy hour spot Mercury Bar on 33rd and 3rd. They advertise a $5.95 lunch special. Being that an average sandwich in NYC is $6 and an average salad as soon as you add anything other than lettuce is $7+ I figured what the hell. A few weeks ago I had the vegetable lasagna and it was fantastic. Just like the bartender John recommended. So yesterday I figured I'd drop back in to have a quick bite. The female bartender Crystal recommended the Rigatoni with Roasted Chicken. That was fantastic as well. I'm sure I could've said anything on the menu and she would have said it was fantastic...but i'm glad her words didn't disappoint. It was a nice sized portion, with roasted zucchini and 2 pieces of garlic bread. All for just $5.95. That would be like $14+ at a place like Olive Garden or like $19+ at most fancy Italian restaurants and I'm telling you, no joke, this was at least as good if not better than what you get at places like that. Really good...and not just because it was cheap, that's just an added bonus. They have about 12 different items on the $5.95 lunch menu and so far both haven't disappointed. Here's the link to view their menu: http://www.mercurybarnyc.com/eastside/media/mercurybar.html


The delicious Rigatoni and Roasted Chicken at Mercury Bar

I added a Blue Moon and the bill was $12.45 w/ tax. I left $16 on the counter since I happen to be a generous tipper (if Rachel Ray was around she'd have a heart attack). Actually let me vent on her a bit. She's a cheap ass S.O.B. She probably would've tipped 10 cents. I could hear her whiny, nasely voice - "you guys, I only spent $6.50 on lunch including tip. The meal was $5.95 plus 40 cents tax. Isn't that a great deal or what. YUM-O". I would argue she's done more harm than good to Americans with her cheap tipping habits and her awful talk show.


Pictures like this prove why Rachel Ray is doing more harm than good to Americans

Don't believe me? Just google Rachel Ray and Cheap sometime and see how many links there are. You'll find people trying to defend her and say she's overly generous. If that's the case why go on a show that millions of viewers watch and tip 10% and below. If people are going to emulate you don't set a bad example by tipping $1 on a $15 bill. So Rachel, do us all a favor and go back to your 30 minute meals and teach us something useful. No one needs to see your stupid magazine or your stupid talk show. Only the brainless people of the world follow her word like it's the gospel. Yes, she'll pull the occassional good tip or time saving thing out once in a while. But don't sit there and tell me she's not annoying. And a cheap ass. Cause she is. And her damn voice...it's stuck in my head...get it out!!!