My big fat Greek New Years

Firstly happy New Year's too all! Hope the holiday season treated you all well.

My New Year's Eve was very entertaining. The night started with some drinks and appetizers and led to a restaurant in Astoria (which I hold off from mentioning in case they decide to send us a bill). Let's just say (without naming names) that three out of the six of us got a little sick (not me) in the restaurant bathroom, leading two out of the six to leave the restaurant shortly after appetizers arrived.

Anyway, sparing you all of the sickly details, the rest of the evening was actually pretty entertaining, despite the fact that we knew no one else in the restaurant and apparently everyone else there knew each other or knew the waitresses and owners. So it basically felt like we were crashing someone's wedding, especially since most patrons were dressed in suits and dresses (and we were their white trash cousins dressed in sweaters and jeans). There was live music with an acoustic guitar duo singing traditional Greek folk songs and eventually some of the restaurant patrons started dancing to said traditional Greek folk songs which led to more Greek traditions. But before I get into that let me just rave about the food for a moment.

The food was exceptional and arrived in droves. A greek salad arrived alongside shrimp that was placed in a phyllo pastry puff, a plate of grilled sausage and marinated meatballs. Unfortunately it was already 10:30pm by the time apps had arrived and we wouldn't see our main courses until well after midnight.

Like 45 minutes after midnight.

However despite our stomachs on revolt and the novelty of making noise with party favors wore off, the main courses didn't disappoint. We were treated to lamb, shrimp and steak. Being that this was authentic greek, I went straight for the lamb which was tender and juicy. Forgoing knife and fork, I grabbed said chop in my grubby paws and went to town (my apologies for the shitty pics my camera phone took).


Lamb


Steak

Shortly after stuffing our face with meaty goodness out came the dessert. Needless to say I was all over the baklava.



During dinner and dessert is when the dancing started. It was entertaining watching everyone dance around in circles, with their arms held high snapping their fingers.



But then the most unexpected thing happened (which I later found out was another Greek tradition). Some of the men in the restaurant started making it rain (the first three are videos - click to play).









I found out that throwing money around is a way to garner wealth and prosperity in the coming year.

Granted these guys were only throwing wads of singles in the air, but by the time we were ready to leave there had to be a few hundred dollars worth of singles on the floor.

Crazy times. Those greeks know how to party!

Friday Randomness

So did you guys hear about this...did you see this? (my Jay Leno impersonation for ya).

Apparently Rodney King was shot the other day on the street.

Yeah...apparently the gun was fired by Bobby Knight.


Boy am I on fire today or what?

Anyway, I'm a bit hungover so you'll have to pardon the bad jokes today. In lieu of attempting to write something humorous, I figured I'd share with y'all some videos that I've taken with my cell phone recently. Most of it is pretty random and some of it...well I guess you just had to be there. Keep in mind this is my crappy cell phone so the video quality is pisspoor at best.

Saw this guy dancing like a fool at a bar in Texas:



This guy had some skinny ass legs and was walking weird on the street:


Actually the way he was walking kinda reminded me of Manute Bol.


Speaking of Manute Bol, what was he thinking with this suit.



Perhaps he was trying to be the world's tallest banana. (yep...i'll be here all night, try the veal).

Finally I was at a John Corbett band concert at the Knitting Factory a few months back (John Corbett is best known from his roles as Aidan om Sex in the City and Ian Miller in My Big Fat Greek Wedding). His band is pretty good. John was onstage with guitarist Tara Novick and ex-Black Crowes’ drummer Steve Gorman.

Here's some clips from the show:







Steve was rocking through his drum solo with an intensity only matched by Animal from the Muppets:



That's all the fun I have for now. Until next time, America.

Gimme Gimme More...

I have to say...the song is growing on me. Big time. Actually I heard all of Britney's new album is the bomb.

Good for her. Glad she's back. Even if she was the worst singer out of the group of girls (xtina, jessica, etc) at least she's got the best dance jams.

May have to make a whole shower songs album with nothing but Britney songs.

No worries, I'll get working on that for you guys.

And I'll even drop the soap ;)



Speaking of "taking one for the team", how funny is it that A-rod was offered a contract by the Toledo Mud Hens?

That's fucking great...although apparently they have a MVP third baseman already...perhaps that guy can play for the Yanks! Joey G get on that buddy.

I'm ok with Girardi as manager and not Mattingly. Why? Well Girardi has already been on the front line as a manager and proved to be a hard noser manager much like he was a hard nosed player. Mattingly would have been a shill (or plant if you will) for the team. Meaning that he would have been the whipping boy for Steinbrenner when the team struggled and didn't win the WS again. And the fans would have eventually turned on Mattingly because he too couldn't "motivate" this team to get into shape. I think if the youth movement is truly on (and lord knows everyone who knows me knows I've been calling for that for a longggg time), Girardi is the kinda of guy who will whip players into shape. Just look what he did with that Marlins team with young guns like Dontrelle and Miguel Cabrera. It should be interesting times up in the BX...especially since the Sox are still the favorite to win again next year.

Anyway, I'm in a musical kinda mood tonight and came across some cool clips on YouTube of a young pianist named David Sides.



Apparently I must be the last person to have discovered him, as many of his clips have over 500,000 views on YouTube already. That and he just released a CD of his songs available on MySpace thanks to his popularity!

This guy is legit. I'm a big fan of the ivory keys and he plays it just as well as anyone. He doesn't even read the sheet music...he just plays. Melodies and backgrounds and all. You gotta love that.

His new CD includes the following tracks:
01. Ciara – Like A Boy : Piano Cover By David Sides
02. Chris Brown – Say Goodbye : Piano Cover By David Sides
03. Akon – Don’t Matter : Piano Cover By David Sides
04. T-Pain – Buy You A Drink : Piano Cover By David Sides
05. Ne-Yo – Because Of You : Piano Cover By David Sides
06. Rihanna – Umbrella : Piano Cover By David Sides
07. Bone Thug – I Try : Piano Cover By David Sides
08. Mario – How Do I Breathe : Piano Cover By David Sides
09. Omarion – Ice Box : Piano Cover By David Sides
10. Robin Thicke – Lost Without You : Piano Cover By David Sides
11. Sean Paul – We Be Burnin' : Piano Cover By David Sides
12. Marques Houston – Circle : Piano Cover By David Sides
13. Fat Joe – Make It Rain : Piano Cover By David Sides
14. Musiq Soulchild – Buddy : Piano Cover By David Sides
15. Coldplay – Clocks : Piano Cover By David Sides
16. Coldplay – The Scientist : Piano Cover By David Sides
17. Bonus Track - Nickelback - Far Away
18. Bonus Track - Justin Timberlake - What Goes Around

Now if you've been living under a rock like I apparently have and haven't seen his work, here are some of my favs:

What Goes Around by J.T.


Far Away by Nickleback


Umbrella by Rhianna (off the hook!)


The Scientist by Coldplay


We Be Burning by Sean Paul


Clocks by Coldplay


Good shit. I definitely would see him in concert. Awesome stuff Mr. Sides keep up the good work.

Anyway...I'm off to bed, got a big day of shooting clays tomorrow complete with a 5:30am wake up call. That and it's a busy weekend on tap in WPMB land, including yours truly attempting to run a small leg of the NYC marathon with Rich (let's see how long I can last!)

Until next time America.

So you need to be naked to be famous these days



So I just heard about this (am I the fuckin last to know? Guess that's what I get for not reading the Post!).

Apparently last Friday some ad agency worker had a meltdown and walked around the streets of Manhattan naked:

http://www.nypost.com/seven/10132007/news/regionalnews/nude_nut_had_bad_bare_day.htm





According to the article, Josh Drimmer, 26, "temporarily lost his senses and that he was just having a really bad day...It was an extreme panic attack brought on by days of not sleeping. I had a bad day."

Now, I've worked my fair share of bad days in agency land but never took to the streets naked as a result. I may have done some swearing and maybe even broken a pencil or two (don't tell!) but that's gotta be some kinda meltdown to go to Times Square in the nude.

Unless he was just trying to show up the Naked Cowboy.



But apparently this may not have been Mr. Drimmer's first nude appearance in public. According to the article, Drimmer, a Yale graduate, was in a group called the "Pundits" where there were naked parties with party goers hanging out in the nude.

Mr. Drimmer is also a fellow blogger. He writes a blog, "Excellence Makes Wack Irrelevant" which he classifies as "some jottings, findings, and sharp darts thrown by Josh Drimmer, playwright, pontificator, patriot."

Although he hasn't updated his blog in quite some time so needless to say he's "petered out" on the whole blogging experience? Hey-oh! Thank you, thank you. I'll be here till Friday, try the veal.

Anyway, this guy is now a mega celebrity. He even caught the eye of this police officer who apparently thinks he's a "detective":


Notice the officer on the left "inspecting" the package

Easy there officer. If you stare at it too long it'll make you go blind. Or is that what they say about masterbating too much? Can't remember.

Anyway, am I jealous at his new found fame? Sure. But until I get into "nudity baring" shape I promise I'll spare my fellow New Yorkers of me running around in the buff. Unless I need the publicity of course. Cause then I can just chalk it up to a bad day.

I leave you, Mr. Drimmer, with some words to live by:

Where is the moment we needed the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to gray
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee you go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces every time
And I don't need no carryin' on

Because you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

We're not in Kansas anymore

Never thought I'd actually be able to say that in my lifetime. But I'm back from Kansas City and actually had a great time. My event went well this weekend and I made some new friends, including Steve Hickoff, Turkey Hunting Expert and Stuart Littlefield, who won our Outdoor Life Grand Slam Adventure contest. Steve is a fellow blogger himself and wrote a little of our experience this weekend (I impressed Steve with my knowledge and insight on competitive eating!) Stuart is a native Kansas City-ian and took us for some good ole homestyle BBQ on Saturday night. Joining us for a culinary adventure was Peter Mathiesen, Field & Stream's Gear Guru.

Stuart took us to a place called Oklahoma Joe's. Oklahoma Joe's is situated in Kansas City, KS and is located in a gas station. Yep, half of the "convenience" area of the gas station was torn out to put seating and an order station. Since this was as authentic as BBQ gets I didn't mind the long wait which stretched outside the doors.



Once we ordered the food was ready lightning fast. The place is market style, meaning you place your order, get yur order and find a seat. I decided on a pulled pork sandwich at Stuart's suggestion and we all split a slab of ribs (I was corrected after requesting we split a rack of ribs. Apparently there's no room for saying rack of ribs in Kansas...only thing racks refer to are deers and well you know...).

Anyway lemme tell you that the BBQ was lip smacking good! Unreal. Some of the tastiest, tender pulled pork I'd ever laid my fingers on. Same with the ribs. Juicy. Tender. Fell right off the bone.


The Oklahoma Joe's slab of ribs


The pulled pork sandwich

The side of baked beans was merely an afterthought and the fries were just there to help soak up some of the tasty sauce. The pickles were a nice sweetener to compliment the beef. But honestly who cares about sides when you have some of the best meat around. Just look at how perfectly cooked the meat was. (Sorry LK- but you're gonna have to get some my BBQ after that pic my friend). So needless to say I'm definitely a fan of the Oklahoma Joe's.

It's been tough coming back and getting into the work mode again. Although the day went by so fast on Monday that I didn't even have a chance to give you your Monday morning fix, so for that I apologize!

Although I think this is one of the few times I've actually blogged at night! Much different vibe than blogging in the morning or during the day. I feel hipper. Fresher. More twisted in my thoughts. Almost as twisted as this young contortionist:



My favorite is when she busts into the worm. Unfucking believable. Talk about flexibility. I'm lucky I can touch the ground on my stretches (and that's after spreading my legs a few extra inches). This girl can wrap her leg around her head like it's a bandana. Crazy.

Anyway I'm sitting here watching Drew Brees continue to suck ass. He's really killing me in fantasy football this year. My team is off to it's worse start in my 10 year fantasy career and I really have him to blame. Good job Drew. Way to follow up on that dream season of yours.

I'm so depressed I went out and bought myself a cherry pie to make myself feel better. After devouring it in about 4 seconds along with a glass of Chocolate Soy milk I feel a little better about life. Although can't say the same for my stomach.

Actually watching Brees stink up the joint my stomach is starting to turn a bit. Kinda sounds like it's trying to sing Warrant's Cherry Pie song. You know the words:

She's my

Cool drink of water
Such a sweet surprise
Tastes so good make a grown man cry
Sweet

Oh yeah

She's my

Put a smile on your face
Ten miles wide
Looks so good
Bring a tear to your eye
Sweet

Yeah sweet

Yeah

Kansas City...Kansas City Here I Come

Off to Kansas City this weekend. Actually looking forward to sinking my teeth into some BBQ goodness.



I've had that old Kansas City song stuck in my head all day...you know the one by Wilbert Harrison:

I'm going to Kansas City, Kansas City here I come
I'm going to Kansas City, Kansas City here I come
They got a crazy way of loving there
And I'm gonna get me some.

I'll be standing on the corner
On the corner of Twelfth Street and Vine
I'm gonna be standing on the corner
On the corner of Twelfth Street and Vine
With my Kansas City baby
And a bottle of Kansas City wine.

Well I might take a train
I might take a plane, but if I have to walk
I'm gonna get there just the same
I'm going to Kansas City, Kansas City here I come
They got a crazy way of loving there
And I'm gonna get me some.

I'm gonna pack my clothes
Leave at the break of dawn
I'm gonna pack my clothes
Everybody will be sleeping
Nobody will know where I've gone
Cause if I stay in town
I know I'm gonna die.
Gotta find a friendly city
And that's the reason why,
I'm going to Kansas City
Kansas City here I come
They got a crazy way of loving there
And I'm gonna get me some.

Although in my case the "loving" I'm gonna get there is coming courtesy of a huge meaty tender rack...

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You didn't think I was gonna show you a woman's rack did you? Please...this is a family friendly blog! I would NEVER show gratitious pictures of a female's rack...

unless she was holding a rack of her own of course!



Now THAT's a nice rack...(obviously I'm not refering to the girl)

Regardless...for those not fasting this weekend (I'm definitely playing my Catholic Card this weekend)...enjoy your weekend. I know I definitely will!



Soooooeeeeeeeyyyyyyyy!

Monkey Love



Everyone sing along at once now:

I Believe In You and Me
I Believe That we will be
In love eternally
Well as far as I can see
You Will Always be the one
For me (Oh yes, you will)

And I believe in dreams again
I believe that love will never end
And like the river finds the sea
I was lost, now I'm free
Cuz I believe In you and me

I will never leave your side
I will never hurt your pride
When all the chips are down, baby
Then I will always be around
Just to be right where you are
My love, you know I love you, boy

I will never leave you out
I will always let you in, boy (mmm, oh baby)
To places no-one's ever been,
Deep inside, can't you see?
That I believe in you and me

Maybe I'm a fool
To feel the way I do
I will play the fool forever
Just to be with you forever

I believe in miracles
And love is the miracle
And yes, baby you're my dream come true
I was lost, now I'm free,
Oh, baby cuz i believe, i do believe, in you and me
See, I was lost, now I'm free
Cuz I believe in you and me.

Some Like It Hot

I like it not.

Seriously...it's a wicked scorcher out there (as my friends from Beantown would say). This morning's commute was ridiculous as none of the subways were running and the lines for the buses stretched longer than most lines for American Idol auditions. So being a crafty Harlemite, I walked my way up to the Metro North stop at 125th and hopped on a train coming downtown. Not only was it nice and airconditioned, I didn't have to pay a dime. Although after walking 20 blocks to the Metro North in the swamp that they called air this morning, and after walking another 10 blocks to my office after the train ride, my shirt had stretched out beyond all belief. It looks more like a nightgown rather than a cotton polo shirt. Hence why lunch was eaten at my desk today courtesy of some leftover wonton shop, a peanut butter balance bar I got for free in a promotion yesterday and one of those pre-cooked and breaded Purdue Chicken Cutlets - eaten cold right out of the packaging.


No need to heat these bad boys, just peel the plastic and eat!

Needless to say I'm less than satisfied...although I really don't feel like venturing out into the heat at the moment. The country is baking right now...in fact just looked at the current weather map and there's more red on the map than in Reagan's 1984 presidential win over Mondale.


This might as well be the current weather map for the U.S.

Although I did manage to crack myself up earlier. After the pools of sweat were beginning to bead up on my arms, I started singing "Some Like it Hot" to myself. You know, that song by Power Station (later sung by Robert Palmer) back in the 80s.

Sing along with me now:

Some like it hot and some sweat when the heat is on...
Some feel the heat and decide that they can't go on...
Some like it hot, but you can't tell how hot 'til you try...
Some like it hot, so let's turn up the heat 'til we fry

Feeeeeeeeeeel the heat.
Pushing you to decide (is that what they really said? huh, never knew that)

Feeeeeeeeel the heat.
Burning you up, ready or not.

Paranoia Paranoia…

“Every one is coming to get me…”

Everyone knows that catchy song by Harvey Danger. Well I’ve been going through my own fits of paranoia recently, misplacing items like my wallet, or my keys...only to find them 5 minutes later in the last place I put them. So I can definitely empathize with the guy on the bus this morning (I took the bus down to work today since I have my golf clubs with me – and actually the bus was pretty painless for a change...only 40 mins door to door!). Anyway this guy sitting across from me kept looking over at me with this sly smirk on his face. It was an “I hate you, you bastard, going to play golf while I’m stuck in the office” kinda look. Only the joke is really on him since a)I dress casually going into work now (shorts and flops) b)I’m only going to the driving range – tomorrow.

Anyway after staring at me in a fit of jealous rage for the better part of 20 minutes or so he gets off the bus. Thankful to have his glare off me I was able to enjoy listening to my IPod, which I haven’t listened to in a good few months. No more than 5 minutes later the same guy comes running on the bus frantically. He runs to his seat and starts searching around. I didn’t see him drop anything. He looks at me like I took something. I just shrug my shoulders as he checks hi and lo like a maniac. Everyone on the bus is staring at him and he starts cursing: “Motherfucking sonofabitch. Fuck!”

On one hand I was amused since who doesn’t laugh at a person in a frantic state. But I did feel bad for the guy. He was in complete and utter disarray. Feeling helpless and unsure. I’ve been there 100 times…so I could empathize. Although the only thing that popped in my head was the “Paranoia Paranoia” song. If only I had that on my IPod.

Wait…lo and behold…I got it! Sweet!

Anyway, now that the “self-imposed embargo” is over, wanted to share some video and more pics of the Pizza Hut P’Zone Eating Challenge that took place on July 10th.

Here is video of the first minute or so of action.



The contest was basically over after the first bite, but the funny part is Tim Janus trying to coach her on some eating style after Chestnut basically finished his P’Zone in 60 seconds and she was still nibbling away on the first half. That and the unintentional comedic genius of George Shea who was narrating the contest.


The contest ready to start


Marivic trying desparately to keep up with Joey


Ladies and Gentlemen, your P'Zone eating champion!

Staring Problem

So this morning I'm sitting on the subway reading AM New York and this lady across from me is staring at me. Thinking she may wanna read the paper too I open it up wider and lift it for her so she has a good view. I read an article, glance up and she's still staring at me. Another 60 seconds go by, I dart my eyes up...same thing. Full out stare. And not one of those I'm staring into space stares. This was I'm staring at you intentionally kinda stare.

Then I start thinking. Do I know her from somewhere?

Nope...never seen her before.

Do I have something on my face? Did my goiter grow overnight? Am I showing too much cleavage?

No...no...and perhaps...


Goiter? What Goiter?

But she's still continuing to stare dead ahead at me. And I started to get uncomfortable. She wasn't the most attractive nor skinniest of people. Actually I was getting quite worried that she was eyeing me up as her breakfast. Honestly. She had that cannibalistic look in her eye...the "get in my belly" kinda stare that Fat Bastard had in Austin Powers



Needless to say I buried my head deep into the paper. I noticed no one was sitting next to me anymore but the woman was still there, practically salivating. I could've sworn I saw her place a bib around her neck...then again I didn't have my glasses on so it could've been an ascot...or a necklace...but regardless there was something eerie about this woman.

Thankfully the drama ended when she got off at 42nd street. I breathed a sigh of relief. Cause I didn't feel like being no one's breakfast this morning.

I was so giddy and relieved that I wasn't eaten, I jumped on the set of Soul Train and started dancing.



(That was me with the white pants doing the leg twirl in case you didn't recognize me)

Anyway, it's supposed to be a HOT HOT HOT one this weekend...so make sure you turn up your HOT 103.5 and listen to some Lisa Lisa and the Cult Jam.

Umm...

Wait...my bad. I thought I was in 1987 for a moment.

Well as Broadway Bill Lee says... "stay calm, kiss your mom, ban the bomb, do the best you can, remember God loves you man"

Don't believe the hype

The recent fad of burger joints in NYC has led to a debate of sorts on which place serves up the best burger. If you polled 10 people, you'd probably get 10 different responses on someone's favorite. Certainly favorites like PJ Clarke's, J.G. Melon's and the Burger Joint at Le Parker Meridian will make anyone's top 10 list. While others will opine Corner Bistro, Shake Shack, Uncle Nick's or various others. While I certainly don't have enough time to go into a full fledged debate on this topic (plus i'm saving it for a "super secret special new blog to come in a few months"), I did try one of the new hotspots in "Burger Land" last night called Zip Burger.

Bridget & I actually kinda accidently stumbled upon it after wandering around the east side looking for a place to eat. I remembered that a few people told me I should definitely try it sometime. Actually some have gone so far as to tell me: OMG it's the best burger around!!! (those people shall remain nameless, even though it's doubtful they're readers here anyway). Now while I value everyone's opinion, I'm also a skeptic at heart. So I decided we should try it for ourselves.

Zip Burger is cut along the lines of the recent crop of "build your own burger" places, like Good Burger or Better Burger.

(Warning: Side rant coming. Do you think the Build a Bear workshops led anything to the build a burger concept? Did some "burgerpreneur" go into a Build-A-Bear one day with his child and say, damn...you know what...these guys are onto something. I wonder if this would work with burgers instead of bears! By golly, I think I have something here!


"Build-A-Bear" may have led to the formation of the "build a burger" concept

Anyway, the whole building a burger from the bun up idea is pretty nifty, right down to picking your own bread. You get to choose from a Beef, Veggie, Salmon or Turkey burger (the latter three will cost you $6, the beef- $4.50). Then you pick your bun -the "classic bun" costs nothing, but a whole wheat, sourdough, english muffin or lettuce bun will cost you extra. Then you select your cheese, which ranges from American to Gouda. Then come the toppings. Surprisingly the only toppings that are free are pickles (they must have a pickle tree in the back). Anything else will cost ya. Lettuce? Cough up a quarter. Tomato? 25 cent. Onions (red - fity cent; vidalia - 75 cent). Applewood smoked bacon? Dollar fity. So as you can see, "building" a big burger is gonna cost you pretty quickly. Plus it's kind of pushing things a little when you start charging for burger "staples" like lettuce and tomatoes.

I opted for a Vermont Cheddar Beef Burger with pickles, lettuce, tomato and red onion on a whole wheat roll. That came to $6.50. Which isn't bad for a bar let's say, but for a "fast food" joint...you're starting to get into that "better be worth it for the money" area. We got a sack of fries in a brown paper bag (which allowed the oils to collect nicely). I added on a strawberry shake and a mint infused unsweetened iced-tea.


My Zip Burger, built from the bun up

The burger itself was definitely juicy and you can tell it was hand made. The meat fell apart as you bit into the burger, which is a good sign of a hand crafted burger. Being one who handcrafts my burgers as well, I appreciated the effort that goes into making hand-built burgers. The bun was soft and tasty, but wasn't firm enough to handle the burgers and toppings, and ended up falling apart on me after a few bites. Had the bun been grilled a bit it may have firmed up a bit to handle the load. The fries were nice and oily, and decent, but definitely not the best i've had (i'm more of a salty, shoe string type fry guy myself). The shake was very nice (hi-five!) and definitely went down smoothly.

Overall I'd say the burger was decent, definitely not "the best i've ever had" nor the worst I've ever had. It was passable, although for $6.50 I'd probably just as soon go to a bar and order a "pre-conceived" burger that came with the standard ingredients. So the jury's still out. But as far as being "OMG worthy!" like a few have told me...well I'm not so sure about that. While its a good suggestion for a take out lunch or a no-frills sit down dinner on the east side (i'm not a fan of getting food like this delivered mainly because you're taking the handling of the food out of your hands - but more on that at a later date) I wouldn't willingly go out of my way to get it.

Just like the vastly overtrumpeted (and overcrowded) Shake Shack, and the hit or miss Better Burger, sometimes, my friends it's best to listen to Public Enemy when they say "Don't Believe the Hype!"


Listen to Public Enemy: "Don't believe...doe doe don't believe the hype!"

It's all been done before...

Ooh ooh ooh...it's all been done...ooh ooh...it's all been done, before...

That Barenaked Ladies song popped into my head when I read an article this morning that Mark Cuban, the much ballyhooed owner of the NBA's Dallas Mavericks, wants to launch his own professional football league.

http://sports.yahoo.com/top/news?slug=ap-newfootballleague&prov=ap&type=lgns

Cuban's idea centers around taking lower round draft picks to populate the league, which will save on having to pay high salaries to players. I actually thought about that point after the recent draft. How many NFL players drafted below the 3rd round actually get a chance to play? I mean not to say you don't have "gems" later in the draft (i.e. Tom Brady) or guys that weren't drafted at all (i.e. Tony Romo), but by and large most guys drafted end up on practice squads or playing in Europe. So conceivably this idea of another league, which if they do it right should be positioned as a development league, could stick. Not to say it'll be popular as NFL football on Sundays...but if minor league baseball works...then why not "minor league football?". People love to tailgate. As long as they kept ticket prices down and did some zany local market promotions (like the minor league baseball team in Sauget with the deep fried White Castles at their concessions).

I honestly think this could work though. I was an avid and rapid fan of the New Jersey Generals of the USFL in the early 80s. Mainly because it gave me a local team to root for since I was a Dallas Cowboys fan.


Walker hitting the hole for the Generals

Plus Herschel Walker ended up getting a "promotion" to the "big league" a few years later landing a spot on the Cowboys years later. But it doesn't just end with Herschel. Look at all of the great NFL talent that came directly from the USFL:


Future Super Bowl Champion and MVP Doug Williams of the Redskins


Future 4 time Super Bowl participant Jim Kelly of the Bills


Future Super Bowl Champion and one of the greatest scrambling QBs in NFL history, Steve Young of the 49ers


Reggie White would become arguably the greatest defensive end ever to play in the NFL for the Eagles


Without the USFL, we may never had been introduced to Flutie Flakes and longtime fan favorite Doug Flutie of the Bills

Other players who made an impact in the NFL coming from the USFL include:

Mel Gray - RB/KR Lions
Mike Rozier - RB Oilers
Bobby Hebert - QB Saints
Albert Bentley - WR Colts
Anthony Carter - WR Vikings
Ricky Sanders - WR Redskins

So when done right, an alternate league can yield some great undiscovered talent. Even the short-lived XFL contributed to the NFL by giving them Rod Smart of He Hate Me fame. Plus the NFL also stole the XFL's roving field cameras and started using them during games (despite the NFL saying these were once-in-a-lifetime revolutionary cameras which as anyone who watched the XFL know was complete bullshit).

So even though I hate Mark Cuban because he's a meddling pompous asshole who complains and whines about everything (hmm...remind you of a Mr. Steinbrenner?), I wish him well with this new league. After all, I'd love to see the next Herschel Walker or Doug Flutie in action before they hit it big!

Lady...it wouldn't kill ya...

So last night I got on the uptown 4 train at Bowling Green and at Wall St. this rather "weighty" (to say it politely) lady sat next to me. She sat down with a bag of McDonalds on her lap and starting eating. At this point I was starving having just played racquetball for almost 2 hours so the smell of fries and burgers was making my stomach grumble. She opens the bag and I peer in. She had like 4 quarter pounders with cheese and an overflowing portion of fries. I tried not to stare as she devoured fries and burgers.

Anyway, at 14th street, a very skinny and sickly looking homeless man came onto the train looking for some change or food. I actually had no bills smaller than $20 lest I would have given him some change. The lady, seeing that the man was approaching, stuffed a hunk of burger in her mouth and rolled up her bag of McDonald's. Not sure if the guy saw her or not but as he politely asked her if she could spare some change or food, she shook her head no as she tried to chew her food slowly. The guy stared at her for a few seconds and then walked away.

I mean really...lady...it wouldn't kill you to spare one of the burgers in your bag. Unless you were bringing it home for your family...which it appeared that you weren't, I think you could've done without an extra cheeseburger. I mean I'm sure the 2,000 calories you already downed with the burgers and fries didn't come close to filling you up. But if you ever even complained about being fat...well...now you know why.

I looked at her in disbelief and disgust. A guy across from me looked at me and shook his head and we smiled. Cause he was thinking the same thing I was. You fucking fat ass...spare a fucking cheeseburger... (at least I think that's what he was thinking - it was what I was thinking). Anyway, its a good thing I had my "inner voice" working lest I would have created a messy situation. And that wouldn't have been good.

Anyway, been stuck in a land of work today so many apologies for the late blog. That and I'm heading to Nashville tomorrow for a work event. Maybe I'll run into my girl Gretchen and she can show me a rootin tootin good time down there! Although I'll need to download some country onto my iPod to get me caught up on the latest country hits. And I may have to have Bridget give me some quick line dancing lessons. I wouldn't want to be the only one not doing the "Boot Scootin' Boogie" at the bar!


"Oh get down, turn around go to town boot scootin' boogie"

Anyway...sorry for the short and sweet post for now...I'll try to give y'all something good before we hit the holiday weekend!

Oh and btw...about American Idol...TOLD YOU SO! America loves a crier!

American Idle

So I'm probably the only person in America (or the world for that matter) who didn't watch American Idol last night. Well make that Bridget & I since we went to grab dinner at the Barking Dog. We got back at 9:15 and I flipped on Fox to see some guy giving a monologue type performance on stage. Then I remembered Idol started at 8 not 9. Oops. Oh well...I'm sure I didn't miss much and I don't really need to watch tonight to know who wins. Cause I know. It's Jordin Sparks.

How do I know? Well the two best female singers got knocked out already in LaKisha and Doolittle, and Blake is basically playing the Clay Aiken to Jordin's Kelly Clarkson winning role. I read online this morning that she even shed a tear while singing the new Idol single - "This is my now" or something like that.

So she pretty much just wrapped it up. America loves a crier.

I won't be watching tonight. I have better things to do. Like laundry. That and I won't be voting either. Mainly because I can't vote for Jordin. Why...because I'm a Dallas Cowboys fan. Although Sparks did play one season for the Boys in 2000, hauling in 5 INTs. Although they didn't win the Super that year and by and large he was a Giants player for his whole career. So can't root for the enemy and thus can't vote for her. Sorry Jordin. Although you're gonna win anyway. Sorry to ruin the surprise for everyone.

IF I did have to vote...I'd vote for Gretchen Wilson.


My "Idol" vote goes to Gretchen Wilson

And don't give me this bullshit that you can't vote for someone else besides the final two. I'm voting for Gretchen simply because her song "All Jacked Up" has popped into my head more than any other song over the past few months. So I'm basing my decision on that.

Don't know the song? You should get to know it. It's a boot stomping, head nodding, rootin-tootin good tune. Great also for working out in the gym and perfect for sculpting those abs for the summer. I think it should be the official song of the Jersey Shore for the summer. Hell, maybe even the MLB should adopt it in a new marketing campaign.


Bonds will star in the new MLB Marketing Campaign - "All Jacked Up"

Makes perfect sense, since all of the players have gotten "Jacked" over the past 10 years off steriods and human growth hormones.

Actually I think I may even go ahead and produce the marketing video for them. Would be pretty easy to do. You could just flash before and after pictures of Bonds, McGwire, Canseco, Giambi, Sosa, etc. You can start out with them as they came into the league, skinny and non-muscular and show pictures of them downing vitamins or injecting the HGH into their asses gradually becoming bigger and bigger. All while "All Jacked Up" plays in the background. Not a bad concept...maybe I should get a job in marketing someday ;)

Ultimate Shower Songs...Part Deux

Ok...because many of you have asked for a new list, and it’s been nearly a year since the last list was “published”, it’s time for The Ultimate Shower Songs, Part Deux!

To those new to the blog, please view last year’s Ultimate Shower Songs list.

For those who have been faithful followers of this blog since day 1 and have waited almost a year for a new list, without further adieu, here’s part two of the best songs to sing in the shower (in no particular order):

Say, Say, Say. “Say” what you want about it, you know you love this duet between Sir Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson. It’s a good “warm up” song in the shower since McCartney’s vocals are pretty mellow and easy to replicate. Once your vocal chords are raring to go it’s time to rip into Michael’s part: “What can I do, I’m so in love with you…baby! Eee heee”. Gotta love Michael in his bas ass years!


McCartney and Jackson team up to produce a great shower song for you

Other good Michael Jackson songs to sing in the shower are Billie Jean, The Way You Make Me Feel, Man in the Mirror and Pretty Young Thing. Actually most Michael Jackson songs are great shower songs. I’m gonna go ahead and give him a lifetime Shammy achievement award! Congrats Michael, well deserved.

Don’t Know Much. Once you’ve exhausted yourself with Michael, you can mellow it down with some Aaron Neville. For those who have the vocal range you can also sing the Linda Ronstadt parts of the song. But Neville is relatively easy to sing in the shower thanks to his nasal-like tone. Plus it’s a good warm up for singing Neville’s famous cotton commercial. You know the one: “The touch, the feel of cot-tin. It’s the fab-rick of our lives.”

On The Wings of Love. Staying on the mellow theme, and because you just saw one of those Time-Life infomercials at 1 in the morning with the 100 greatest love songs, this smash by Jeffrey Osbourne is sure to eat up some of the hot water in your building. Plus the deep, resonating vocals bounce off the shower walls nicely. Although similar to Caribbean Queen, all you know is the hook of the song so that’s all you sing over and over again. You know, “On the wings of love, only the two of us together flying high. Flying high, on the wings of love”.


The smooth stylings of Jeffrey Osbourne lend itself to good shower singing material, even if you only know two lines of the song

Another song you only know the hook to is Never Gonna Let You Go by Sergio Mendes. So that’s all you sing over and over again. You know the words. “I'm never gonna let you go. I'm gonna hold you in my arms forever. Gonna try and make up for the times I hurt you so. Gonna hold your body close to mine. From this day on we're gonna be together. Oh, I swear this time. I'm never gonna let you go”. Awesome stuff. Just awesome. Good song to extend your stay in the shower to.

For those itching for the summer months you can bust out a little Cruel Summer by Bananarama. “It’s a cruel (cruel) cruel summer. Leaving me here on my own”. Good stuff. You know you even hum the instrumental riff of the song. Very feel good shower song to get you ready for tanning season (or to make you feel bad about how white you are going into beach season as you wash your body). Other good “summer” songs are Summer Girls by LFO, Summer Wind by Sinatra and Summertime by DJ Jazzy Jeff and Fresh Prince. Although don't readily admit you know the lyrics to Summer Girls by LFO...could be condusive to having your ass beat in some corners of the earth (more on songs that could get your ass beat later).

Other good songs to get you in the mood for good weather are Break My Stride by Men at Work (also sung by Matthew Wilder). “Ain’t nothing gonna break-a my stride, ain’t nothing gonna slow me down – oh no – got to keep on movin”. (Although please don’t sing the Puff Daddy version. Or anything by Puffy for that matter. As they say in my hood, he’s a “beat biter – a Pac style taker – I’ll tell it to (his) face he ain’t shit but a faker”). Getting Jiggy Wit It by Will Smith and This is How We Do It by Montell Jordan also are prime songs for getting in a “good mood” for nice weather. Plus if you do the Getting Jiggy With It dance while rinsing, you’ll be able to wash off the soap that is trapped between your rolls of fat. If you have rolls of fat of course.

Perhaps the most underrated Shower Song band is U2. Largely because everyone knows the lyrics to most of their songs and their style is very condusive to shower singing. With or Without You is a particularly great shower song, especially that section where Bono kicks it up a notch. “I can’t liiiiive. With or without you…..oh oh oh oh”. Great stuff. It’s the kinda song you want people down the hallway to hear you sing. Another great U2 shower song is One. “Love is a temple, love the higher love”. Powerful. Good song to pause whatever you’re doing in the shower to belt out the lyrics.


Congrats, U2! You’ve earned a Shammy for achieving greatness in shower song music

Back to the mellow stuff (and because the Time-Life commercial just popped in your head again). When I See You Smile by John Waite is a great shower song to sing, especially if you just scored a big hookup the night before. Plus this song helps you score bonus points if you’re trying to impress upon your live-in girlfriend or the hooker you let sleep over last night. Nothing puts a “smile” on a girl’s face like hearing “When I see you smile. I can face the world. Oh you know I can do anything”. Although if you’re living with another dude you may not want to bust this one out for fear that the gaydar would go off the charts.

Speaking of off the charts gaydar, other songs not to sing if you have a male roommate around include anything by Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons. Especially Sherri or Big Girls Don’t Cry. So what if you just saw the promo for “Jersey Girls” for the hundredth time, Valli’s songs should only be sung by those without any males within earshot (unless they happen to be musical theater or broadway actors – then you’re ok). If you choose to try the high notes of Sherri baby you best be comfortable with your own masculinity!

Other songs to avoid with a male around are A Whole New World by Peabo Bryson. So what if you watched Aladdin with your niece for the 50th time, singing this song is grounds for getting your ass beat by your roommate if he hears you singing it. Even if the vocals sound cool in the shower, sing this one at your own risk. Same goes for Let’s Give Them Something To Talk About by Bonnie Raitt. Although while you may get mocked and beaten by other males for singing it in the shower, you know damn well that after they’re done insulting your manhood minutes later they start humming the lyrics to themselves. Even if they won’t admit it, they should. The song is catchy.


Bonnie’s got your back if any male gives you shit for singing her songs

If you need to restore some of your male pride and save face, some good songs to turn to in the shower are Pearl Jam’s Jeremy, Creed’s My Own Prison, Metallica’s Enter Sandman and Nirvana’s Rape Me. Although you may wanna stay away from Rape Meif your male roommate recently completed a stint in prison.

On topic, songs to avoid if you’re trying not to violate parole for child molestation include anything referencing teenage girls, such as I Saw Her Standing There by the Beatles. “She was just 17 you know what I mean” may be tough to justify. Although in your defense you can say you were just at a game at the Garden since that’s a MSG hit (not so much for the she was just 17 part as much as the: She wouldn’t dance with another…OOOOOOO”, that everyone belts out at once).

Another song to be weary of if you’re a convicted child molester is Into The Night by Benny Mardones. Why you ask? Um, how bout the lyrics:

“She's just sixteen years old, Leave her alone, they say....But I want you to know, If I could fly, I'd pick youuuuuu up. I'd take you into the night, And show you a love…like you've neverrrrr seen. Ever seen”.

If that doesn’t scream child molestation I don’t know what does! Although it won’t stop me from singing it in the shower simply because it sounds cool acoustically. The lyrics invoke passion and are souful, despite the messaging.


Much to his dismay, and his smash hit, Benny Mardones has been placed on most child molester watch lists

That completes this list of the Ultimate Shower Songs, Part Deux. Feel free to comment on your own personal favorites and let the debate begin!