Friday, May 04, 2007

Part of a Nutritious Breakfast

Growing up we all saw those “nutritious breakfast” commercials. Where the mother and children are sitting at the kitchen table and the children have a whole smorgasbord of food in front of him to start their day off right. You know the whole “part of a nutritious breakfast” plugs that the cereal companies normally advertised. The ones that contained:

The bowl of cereal

The slice of toast

The scrambled eggs

The glass of OJ

The apple or orange

The occasional slice of bacon

I have to say as I child I tried to have a nutritious breakfast each day before school. Normally it was a bowl of cereal since that was the quickest and easiest. But it wasn’t your healthy cereal, like Corn Flakes or Bran Flakes or Raisin Bran or Chex. Nope, my fat ass wanted the Golden Grahams, the Cinnamon Toast Crunch, the Crunchberries, the Count Chocula or the Frosted Flakes that were always being advertised. Two scoops of raisins? Wheat and corn double sided Chex? Nigga please. More like 10 scoops of sugar for me. The more sugar, the better! Or if I was running late and needed to run out of the door quickly, the pack of sugar laded Pop Tarts more than did the trick.



Cereals such as Fruit Brute and Post Mortems are all part of your child's nutritious breakfast

On weekends? Well my friends, that was time for cholesterol heaven. My weekend breakfast courtesy of my dad or grandmother was either fried salami and eggs or corned beef hash and eggs or butter laden French toast. All the healthy stuff that sits in your stomach all day never to be digested.


Nothing says healthy breakfast like a side serving of Corned Beef Hash

But these days who has time for healthy and nutritious breakfasts? I mean most of us are on the go, eating whatever is quickest and most convenient. Myself included. My breakfast mostly consists of a deli bought egg & cheese or toasted bialy/bagel. Or if I’m in a rush, the cup of tea and donut/buttered roll from the street vendor. Hardly the breakfast of champions, I know. Hell, even Rachel Ray herself, the queen of the quick meal, now endorses Dunkin Donuts, who basically make a living promoting breakfast on the go.

So the other day I actually got up early enough to make myself a “nutritious” breakfast. Shocking, even for myself. But since I’m the “omelet master” thanks to my days being a short-order cook at a Bagel shop up by Marist, I can whip up breakfast fairly quickly. So I whipped up a one-egg yolk/two egg white omelet (less yolks means less of that cholesterol nonsense everyone’s worried about these days) with cheddar cheese. For my “meat” requirement I sizzled up two slices of South Beach Diet approved Turkey Bacon. And I even was able to add in the quintessential breakfast “must-haves” in the way of Soy Chocolate milk and a healthy glass of OJ.

I could’ve filmed one of those “healthy breakfast” commercials with the meal I whipped up

But unfortunately I eat these types of breakfasts too few and far between. But I take comfort knowing that I’m not alone. I did a Google search this am on nutritious breakfast. And I found some good ones I’d like to share with you today. After all, wasn’t Friday always “show and tell” day at school? Although I think they banned show & tell in my elementary school once one kid pulled down his pants and said this is what my daddy told me to show the girls to impress them. Ok, maybe the kid just pulled down his pants and didn’t say anything. But either way, show & tell was banned ok??? Anyway, here are some delicious breakfast ideas sure to get your day off to a fast moving start!

1. Everything you could ever need to get your day off to a great start. Once you've filled your stomach with eggs, bacon, sausage and the all-important tator tots, then you can move onto the glazed scone, muffins and french toast sticks. This my friends is what breakfast is all about!


2. Stack em high and stack em proud! Nothing says "get me ready for a light day on my feet" more than a short stack of pancakes. Add the extra syrup for a sugar rush and you're ready to pound the pavement!


3. Sunny side up egg, toast, 2 sausage links, 2 slices of bacon. Oh hell yeah - that's breakfast! But wait...don't forget about the grilled tomato, the vegetable puree, the homefries patty and the sauteed mushrooms! Nothing says breakfast like mushrooms!


4. Umm....yeah...not sure where this fits into the traditional American breakfast of carbs and cholesterol. Fruit? That's for wussies! Portion control? What's that? Everything about this breakfast is a big thumbs down. Except for the fish. Besides, what's more quicker and convenient than chewing on a raw fish for breakfast! Plus it fills your daily need for fish oils!


5. Now, that's more like it! Eggs benedict! That quintessential American breakfast. The creamy, fat filled Hollandaise sauce. The indigestion-bearing Canadian Bacon. The poached eggs and English Muffin. Yum-O! Add in a side of home fries and if you must, some melon, and my friends you're ready to take on the world and go shopping for that skin-tight bathing suit for the summer! Make sure to down a few Bloody Mary's before you go so you're extra-skinny when you try on that two-piece or that speedo!

2 comments:

roger said...

dude you fuckin rock!

neil from the uk said...

Fat Americans!!!! hahaha