Furthering the Rivalry

When you think Yankees and Red Sox you think rivalry.

Intense rivalry.

Rivals on the field.

Rivals in the stands.

Rivals in ice cream?

On my trip to Boston this weekend to historic Fenway, which I've actually come to appreciate more in my "older years", I noticed an ice cream stand outside of the stadium. Walking towards it I expected it to be no other than Dippin Dots, the self proclaimed "ice cream of the future" that is served at Yankee Stadium (which you'll remember I spoke about a few weeks ago after trying them for the first time). But lo and behold it wasn't Dippin Dots but something called Itti Bitz.


"Little Bitz of Ice Cream Fun"

What kind of fuckin name is Itti Bitz??? Can you imagine a child asking his mother for Itti Bitz???? Hell no. Asking for some Dots is much cooler! Just see for yourself:

"Yo ma...get me some Itti Bitz"

"Yo ma...get me some Dippin Dots"

Case closed.

So while Fenway by and large has better concessions than Yankee stadium (if you haven't been, they've done tons to improve their concessions in the past few years while Yankee stadium has some of the worst concessions in the league. Average wait time for a beer in Fenway is about 2 minutes. Average wait time in Yankees Stadium about 30 mins. Trust me on that one.) a point in the rivalry does go to the Yankees for better ice cream concession. A small victory for Yanks fans to hang their hats on considering we don't have much else going for us these days!

In other news, Bridget forwarded me this viral video Bud Light produced called the "Swear Jar". Pretty funny...employees have to donate a $1 for every swear word they say in the work place, which gets pooled to buy cases of Bud Light.



Something to implement in your own workplace perhaps???

Juice ain't worth no two dollars!

So getting breakfast this morning at Chicken Deli on 33rd btw Park & Madison (good for a cheap breakfast if you're in the hood), a young male grabbed a bottle of juice - one of those V-8 Fusion drink things - and proceeded to hand the cashier a dollar bill.

The cashier responded: "$1.79"

The youth: "$1.79???"

The cashier: "$1.79"

The youth reluctantly pulled another dollar out of his pocket: "God dam...juice ain't worth no two dollars"


Is V-8's V-Fusion worth two dollars?

I tried not to laugh but you know what - the kid is right. A 10 ounce drink used to be a buck. But not anymore...and definitely not in midtown. But I feel for you son, I agree that juice ain't worth no two dollars.

And while we're talking about price gouging...do an experiment and see how much your local deli charges you for Vitamin Water. Up in East Harlem, I can get a 20 oz bottle (regular size) for $1.50. At our little newsstand in my building on Park & 33rd, I can get Vitamin Water for $2. But go to any food place, deli, etc, and you're paying $2.50-$3.00 for it. Ridiculous. Maybe next time I should complain and say "Vitamin Water ain't worth no three dollar"!

Anyway, thank you to the Yankees for actually showing up last night. Although they still have this problem with the whole manufacturing runs thing. Runners on 1st and 2nd with no one out, and they don't score a run in the inning. That's the kind of shit that's prevented them from winning championships these past few seasons. Although for the first time ever I actually gave Jorge Posada a standing ovation. Yep (all my friends probably just had a heart attack upon hearing that). I've long thought Posada was a bit overrated, mainly because despite being one of the best catchers in baseball, he's consistantly failed to be clutch when they needed him, especially in the postseason. Anyway, I gave him an ovation when he tried to lay down a bunt for a hit. I couldn't believe it. A bunt. I turned to the guys behind us and said where was that when they played the Red Sox in 04 in Game 6 when Schilling had his ankle hanging from his leg by sutures. Makes sense right?

Anyway it was like fight night at the stadium last night. Every two seconds someone was being thrown out. Probably cause half the stadium was Red Sox fans and the Yankee fans are getting desperate for wins at this point. Although almost every fight involved a girl. I guess that shouldn't surprise me though because when you have a group of drunk girls in Red Sox jerseys sitting next to a group of drunk girls in Yankees jerseys...well you can only guess the conversation won't be where they happen to get their manicures from.

The one thing that kept me "cool" last night were Dippin Dots. You know, the self proclaimed "Ice Cream of the Future". Although they've been saying that for the last 10 years now so maybe it's time for a new slogan! Anyway, I had never had them before, but Bridget picked me up some chocolate dots on her way back from getting a beer. And you know what, they weren't half bad.


Dippin Dots - The Ice Cream of the Future

The dots just melt in your mouth and they have a crunchy but soft texture to them. Definitely a tasty treat. Although Bridget nearly ate my whole dish of them. So I had to bust out the Napoleon Dynamite on her. "Gosh, get off my dots. Get your own dots. Gosh." But pretty good stuff if you ever need a sweet treat sometime!

Bitterly Disappointing

Well the weather wasn’t disappointing this weekend. That’s for damn sure. The Yankees were extremely disappointing this weekend. But that’s to be expected since Joe Torre over-manages each game to the fullest. Plus it’s not like the Red Sox haven’t faced Mariano Rivera 1,000 times in the past 10 years. No surprises there. I don’t care if he’s the best closer ever. When you face a team a gazillion times they are gonna know you like a book. But I’ve said my piece about that to whoever would listen to me over the weekend.

But the most bitterly disappointing moment this weekend came at the hands of one of my beloved childhood memories, the WWF Wrestling Ice Cream Bar (or WWE Ice Cream Bar as it’s now called).

Firstly, you know how passionate I am about Good Humor based on my post just a few weeks back on how Good Humor should sponsor Good Friday. Knowing that Mr. Softee now reigns supreme in the Big Apple, we were extremely shocked that we saw a Good Humor truck on Sunday outside Carl Shultz Park on the UES. And frankly we were a little disappointed since we were hunting for a Mr. Softee truck so Bridget could get a shake. But who can be disappointed when the Good Humor truck is around?! I was especially thrilled since I haven’t seen one in a long time. Bridget, Avi and Lauren probably could’ve cared less, but nonetheless shared in my excitement over getting any ice cream on a warm April day.


Searching for Mr. Softee, we came across the rare NYC Good Humor truck

The choices of course were endless. The Strawberry Shortcake, the Chipwich, the Chocolate Éclair…all of the favorite Good Humor Ice Cream’s from day’s yore. Lauren opted for one of the frozen flavored pops (lime flavored). Avi went with the classic King Kone. Bridget opted for a Chocolate Éclair and a Chipwich (to share with me of course). But I my friends hit paydirt. Lo and behold, a WWF Ice Cream Sandwich bar!! Holy fucking shit. They still make them. And they’re only $2 to boot! Just a 50 cent markup from 20 years ago! Unreal! How many products can you say where just 50 cents more expensive than 20 years ago???


The ice cream bar, unlike its predecessors, came in a cardboard box rather than a plastic wrapper.

As Hulk Hogan was on the cover of the sample bar on the front of the box, I figured I may get a Hogan imprint on the cookie side of the bar (the bar is a sandwich of chocolate, ice cream and cookie dough for those not in the know). Although a picture of John Cena (the current WWE champ) was pictured on the box so I thought maybe I’d get him. Even though I longed for one of the classics, like an Andre the Giant, I was willing to settle for a John Cena or Rey Mysterio bar.

I ripped open the box like a 5 year old rips opens a Christmas present. I see the chocolate side first and then turn the bar over. And the wrestler is…………………



Blank? Blank???? The bar is fucking blank!!!! Are you fucking kidding me??? I felt immediately let down and rejected. That’s probably the most disappointed I’ve ever felt in my entire life. I put my head down in shame and shuffled my feet. I was practically inconsolable. Tears welled in my eyes (ok, maybe not that far, but if I was alone they may have!). I can’t believe it. All that excitement. The buildup. The nostalgia. And the bar is fucking blank.

So a big fuck you to the WWE. No wonder why your product sucks and no one watches you anymore! Bastards. Way to ruin a 29 year olds day. And not to mention the HUGE false advertising on their behalf!! Why put a picture of an imprint of a bar on the outside of your packaging and then have a blank inside? That’s like Oreo basically giving you a picture of an Oreo imprint cookie on the outside of the packaging and then when you take a cookie out you get a smooth, plain, no imprint chocolate shell on the outside. What fun would that be? You think people would enjoy Oreos if the chocolate wasn’t imprinted with the brand name? Definitely not. Cause then you’d be eating a generic chocolate cookie with cream filling. That’s essentially what this was. A generic ice cream bar. I mean are times at the WWE that bad that they can’t afford to imprint their wrestlers on a cookie?? Unreal.

I think I was more disappointed about the stupid ice cream bar then about the Yankees losing. I expected the Yanks to lose. I didn’t expect to get a blank ice cream bar. Major disappointment!

"Good Humor" Fridays?

While I have nothing in particular to complain about on this "Good Friday", I have an interesting thought. Shouldn't Good Humor, the ice cream company, sponsor Good Friday?

For those who have never heard of Good Humor it was a staple of my childhood in Brooklyn. You'd hear the bells ring and you ran inside to get whatever loose change you could find to buy your $1 Toasted Almond, Strawberry Shortcake, King Cone, Buffalo Bill, Fat Frog, Chocolate Eclair or Astro Pop, among other tasty treats on a stick from the Good Humor man (those who were "richer" could splurge for the $1.50 ice cream cookie sandwiches or those WWF Superstars of Wrestling bars they came out with back in the 80s). I personally liked Buffalo Bill because it had a vanilla and chocolate ice cream and as an added treat, a gumball for a nose - extra sugar rush!


This may or may not be a picture of me enjoying some Good Humor as a child!

Mike was our Good Humor truck driver for 20 years. Business started hurting once the Mr. Softee truck came around, but back in the day, no one cleaned house like the Good Humor man. The one benefit was that the Good Humor truck came down our blocks, which for those who have visited Gerritsen Beach before know how tiny the blocks are (for those who haven't, our "blocks" or streets are pretty much driveway sized, with only room for a car to park and a car to pass). Mr. Softee only stayed on the "wider" avenues (which was probably a smart decision anyway to save on gas money) and let the children run to him rather than have the truck come to the children. I also found it very shady that Mr. Softee sold Good Humor product in addition to their soft serve cones, basically rendering the Good Humor man obsolete.


The Mr. Softee truck blatently selling Good Humor ice cream product, causing the demise of the Good Humor truck

Anyway, there are some instant synergies between Good Humor and Good Friday:

1) The name "Good" is already there.

2) Ice cream is allowed on Good Friday as long as it doesn't contain any meat.

So naturally, there's a connection. But taking it one step further, the reason we loved Good Humor so much was that once you finished your ice cream there was a printing on the stick. Some of the sticks were "lucky sticks" and if you had one you'd get a free ice cream. You were also the shit if you got one - you felt like the king of the block. And everyone knows there's nothing better than some free ice cream!

Anyway, getting back to the point, as a special prize, Good Humor can work with the Catholic church to distribute special "lucky sticks" for the holidays. Instead of getting a free ice cream with your lucky stick, these specially made Catholic Lucky Sticks can be your "get out of not eating meat" card for the day. How cool would that be? I mean I'm not religious at all so I don't really follow the rules, but I've always thought the whole "not eating meat on Friday thing" was a stupid idea. Like if you eat a piece of steak on Friday's for Lent, God would smite you? I'm sure he/she/it is up there somewhere eating a nice, meaty Filet Mignon tonight with a big glass of Merlot, laughing at the rest of us.

Anyway, since people by and large "play by the rules" and follow their religion, Good Humor would be the "savior" by stepping in and issuing these "lucky sticks" which would be your pass to eat meat for the day. Good Humor would benefit because ice cream sales would go through the roof (and maybe the Good Humor truck would regain popularity and start taking away market share from the Mr. Softee truck). The Catholic church would benefit from all of the PR their "Good Humor Fridays" campaign would generate (and lord knows they need the positive PR these days). Of course we would make sure none of the priests were driving the Good Humor trucks. That would be a nightmare for obvious reasons!


An extensive background check would ensure no priests were masquerading as Good Humor men

So Mr. Pope Benedict Arnold, or whatever your name is, if you're reading out there...this may not be a bad idea to consider!