Monday, April 23, 2007

Bitterly Disappointing

Well the weather wasn’t disappointing this weekend. That’s for damn sure. The Yankees were extremely disappointing this weekend. But that’s to be expected since Joe Torre over-manages each game to the fullest. Plus it’s not like the Red Sox haven’t faced Mariano Rivera 1,000 times in the past 10 years. No surprises there. I don’t care if he’s the best closer ever. When you face a team a gazillion times they are gonna know you like a book. But I’ve said my piece about that to whoever would listen to me over the weekend.

But the most bitterly disappointing moment this weekend came at the hands of one of my beloved childhood memories, the WWF Wrestling Ice Cream Bar (or WWE Ice Cream Bar as it’s now called).

Firstly, you know how passionate I am about Good Humor based on my post just a few weeks back on how Good Humor should sponsor Good Friday. Knowing that Mr. Softee now reigns supreme in the Big Apple, we were extremely shocked that we saw a Good Humor truck on Sunday outside Carl Shultz Park on the UES. And frankly we were a little disappointed since we were hunting for a Mr. Softee truck so Bridget could get a shake. But who can be disappointed when the Good Humor truck is around?! I was especially thrilled since I haven’t seen one in a long time. Bridget, Avi and Lauren probably could’ve cared less, but nonetheless shared in my excitement over getting any ice cream on a warm April day.

Searching for Mr. Softee, we came across the rare NYC Good Humor truck

The choices of course were endless. The Strawberry Shortcake, the Chipwich, the Chocolate Éclair…all of the favorite Good Humor Ice Cream’s from day’s yore. Lauren opted for one of the frozen flavored pops (lime flavored). Avi went with the classic King Kone. Bridget opted for a Chocolate Éclair and a Chipwich (to share with me of course). But I my friends hit paydirt. Lo and behold, a WWF Ice Cream Sandwich bar!! Holy fucking shit. They still make them. And they’re only $2 to boot! Just a 50 cent markup from 20 years ago! Unreal! How many products can you say where just 50 cents more expensive than 20 years ago???

The ice cream bar, unlike its predecessors, came in a cardboard box rather than a plastic wrapper.

As Hulk Hogan was on the cover of the sample bar on the front of the box, I figured I may get a Hogan imprint on the cookie side of the bar (the bar is a sandwich of chocolate, ice cream and cookie dough for those not in the know). Although a picture of John Cena (the current WWE champ) was pictured on the box so I thought maybe I’d get him. Even though I longed for one of the classics, like an Andre the Giant, I was willing to settle for a John Cena or Rey Mysterio bar.

I ripped open the box like a 5 year old rips opens a Christmas present. I see the chocolate side first and then turn the bar over. And the wrestler is…………………

Blank? Blank???? The bar is fucking blank!!!! Are you fucking kidding me??? I felt immediately let down and rejected. That’s probably the most disappointed I’ve ever felt in my entire life. I put my head down in shame and shuffled my feet. I was practically inconsolable. Tears welled in my eyes (ok, maybe not that far, but if I was alone they may have!). I can’t believe it. All that excitement. The buildup. The nostalgia. And the bar is fucking blank.

So a big fuck you to the WWE. No wonder why your product sucks and no one watches you anymore! Bastards. Way to ruin a 29 year olds day. And not to mention the HUGE false advertising on their behalf!! Why put a picture of an imprint of a bar on the outside of your packaging and then have a blank inside? That’s like Oreo basically giving you a picture of an Oreo imprint cookie on the outside of the packaging and then when you take a cookie out you get a smooth, plain, no imprint chocolate shell on the outside. What fun would that be? You think people would enjoy Oreos if the chocolate wasn’t imprinted with the brand name? Definitely not. Cause then you’d be eating a generic chocolate cookie with cream filling. That’s essentially what this was. A generic ice cream bar. I mean are times at the WWE that bad that they can’t afford to imprint their wrestlers on a cookie?? Unreal.

I think I was more disappointed about the stupid ice cream bar then about the Yankees losing. I expected the Yanks to lose. I didn’t expect to get a blank ice cream bar. Major disappointment!


neil from the uk said...

that's a major disappointment! did you get a refund?

alexis said...

Umm I think I just spit my water out of mouth after reading this blurb...what a fuckin let down..its like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife. I mean I would have been heated and totally understand why you're ranting!!