Pizza Pizza

So our friends at the ACLU (that would be the Ass Clowns Leaveusthefuckalone Union) are at it again. This time they've produced a very tongue-in-cheek example of what ordering pizza could be like in the year 2010. (click link or image to play)



Basically the guy calls up his local pizzeria, the Pizza Palace, and they have his whole history on file, including his health conditions (among them impotence - very funny ACLU) and a warning from his insurance provider that the Double Meat Special pizza he wants is bad for him and thus he'll have to pay an extra "Health Surcharge" for his pies.

Now while this is meant to be nothing more than a "holy shit, let's stop this from happening now" fluff piece from our favorite Asshole Cleaning Lickers Union, it could very well happen in the not so distant future. Especially if that whole "GoogleZon" idea ever comes to fruition.

But for now, take heart that invasion of privacy such like this is probably way down the road. So don't listen to what the "We do more harm in the world than good" cocksuckers have to say.

In fact we should concentrate on more important things than trying to find "civil liberties" for humankind. Like, for example, eliminating the sounds of farts in public. Now THAT'S something we can all get 'behind' right?

Well now we can. All we need to do is purchase some Toot Tones and all of our pesky fart noises would turn into cheerful, harmless cell phone rings!



Now all we need to do is find a way to turn our 'gas emissions' into some sort of usable environmentally friendly substance that could fuel our automobiles. Now that would be extemely practicable! Just think, when you can say "I have enough gas in me to get me to Pittsburgh", you could really mean it!

WTF??? is right!!!

Umm...so...once again Ration Reality will be supplying the video fun for this Friday (mainly because I have to jet to the airport in an hour for a flight to Austin....Texas...not Massachussetts). That and I laughed pretty much an hour straight after watching them so it unfortunately sapped all of the humor from me. Thanks alot guys.

Today's video installment comes courtesy of our neighbors from the north, who apparently have raised the bar for commercials which blatently cross the line between...well let's just say these commercials would never fly in the good ole prudish U S of A.

The series of commercials are for convenience store beverages from a chain store called Mac's. They are branding this drink called WTF which is supposed to be short for What's the Flavour? But clearly the WTF is not purely coincidence, considering they also have a slogan that was OMFG which stands for Oh My Froster's Gone.

I must say nicely done by the Canadians. Way to take advantage of this acronym language society we've become over the years. Before I give away too much of the plot, here are some snapshots from the commercials:


Two girls getting a giant tree of liquid "off"


A girl licking a "berry flavored" zit


A man giving birth to an egg filled with juice


A bloody attack that rivals Nancy Kerrigan and Tonya Harding

And finally my favorite...


A robot who fucks a pommelhorse to produce juice

You can go here to view these video clips in all their glory.

I mean...talk about some fucked up marketing approaches! Could you imagine 7-11 going this route for promoting their Slurpies? Or maybe the next reincarnation of Slush Puppies for 'adults' where a girl is 'redrocketing' a puppie to produce the flavors for the slush puppie?


Slush Puppies new marketing campaign could be entitled "LOL" - short for Lick our liquids.

I mean the possibilities are endless! Although I wouldn't be surprised if somewhere Sonic is producing a whole line of drinks labeled LMAO or some other acronym that is overly used this days.

Anyway, I'm off to Austin for faithful reader Rich's bachelor party. Assuming my liver doesn't explode I'll be back for more fun on Monday. Enjoy your weekend!

Big Pimpin

So got a bit of a shocker just a while ago from John.

Apparently our beloved James Lipton, host of the venerable Inside the Actors Studio, was apparently a pimp earlier in his career.



Now, watching him on TV he is very calculating and reserved. Not qualities you would expect from a pimp.

Actually the news was suprising to all, especially Tony Soprano himself. James Gandolfini was unofficially quoted saying during a taping of Inside the Actors Studio: "If I knew he waz a pimp, I woulda cast him in da show. Capice?".



I love the quote from Lipton: "We were earning our living together, this young woman and I, we made a rather good living, I must say."

What they didn't tell you was he followed that with a hearty laugh and a "Well played Mr. Lipton".

I wonder if he had index cards for all of the prostitutes he pimped out and interviewed.

Imagine the scene.

Faux Inside the Actors Studio (a cheap run down flat outside of Paris). Dark room, lit by only one lightbulb hanging precariously from the ceiling. Mr. Lipton in a big leather chair sitting across from a young prostitute. Mr. Lipton takes a puff of a pipe as he admires said prostitute.

After a long awkward pause, Mr Lipton says: "If your vagina could be an animal what animal would it be".

The prostitute hesitates and answers in a french accent: "I would be a beav-ah... Monsieur".

Lipton: (tilts his head back and laughs) "Ha-ha-ha, well played madame, well played."

End scene.

Obviously if you've never seen his show, or the parody of his show on Saturday Night Live, you won't find any of this funny. If you haven't seen it, Will Farrell actually did one of the best James Lipton impersonations ever:



Pure comedic genius.

In other news:

Apparently Kid Rock got into a brawl at the Waffle House in Hot-lanta over the weekend.



Hopefully he paid for his fuckin waffles. Last time he stiffed me that prick!

Friday video fun

Since I'm probably going to be absolutely buried in work today, won't have much to say.



But our friends at Ration Reality always have something to say! This time they've uncovered some really disturbing commercials courtesy of our friends oversees.

They've uncovered:

* An animated cleaning powder that snorts his white powder cleaning solution, gets high, and crashes to the floor


* A japanese "kiddie beer" commercial that shows families happily drinking this 'non alcoholic' beverage that is supposed to foster future beer drinking among youth


* A japanese milk commercial that looks like it's a play on our old drinking milk commercials where the person drinking milk grows before your eyes. You know the commercials, where the puny kid who drinks milk grows up to be bigger and stronger than the bully who was pushing them around. Well, instead of growing taller, in this commercial the girls boobs grow bigger with each passing sip!


* A Russian (actually Estonian) meat processing commercial that flashes back and forth between the chicken and his meat being ground up.


Fucked up and disturbing? Yes. Mildly amusing and borderline hysterical? You bet!

To view these commercials in all their glory go to:
http://rationreality.com/2007/10/17/foreigners-are-weird-bizarre-commercials-vol-1

Thanks again for uncovering those gang, made my day!

Also, one last thing to share. I'm sitting across from this guy on the subway last night who was slightly tripped out on something. He had a shiteating grin on his face and his eyes kept rolling into the back of his head.



I couldn't decide who he reminded me more of, David Koresh,


or Bruce Vilanch.


Tough call...opinions anyone?

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Everyone loves my giant peter

So on this "show and tell" Friday I figured I show everyone my giant peter!

Everyone who walks by my desk stops to play with my peter. They make it talk and laugh. They turn it on and off. One co-worker (who will remain anonymous for fear of nasty office rumors spreading) said as he walked by my cube: "I LOVE your giant peter!".

I guess I'm flattered. I mean I know I just got my giant peter a few days ago but had I known it would have been this popular I would have 'sprung' for one a long time ago!

(WAIT JUST A MINUTE - was that a 'funny' I just made! LOOK OUT...I think I'm feeling funny again!!! FINALLY! About fuckin time. Who's bringing funny back? Yeah!)

Anyway I guess I should share my giant peter with the rest of you.

So without further adieu here he is...live and in the flesh...my giant peter.


Wait for it.



Wait for it.






Cue Peter Griffin laugh.

Whirlwind

It's been a whirlwind since coming back from the wedding this weekend (which was an awesome time btw! Congrats again to John and ESR-W)

In fact I can't believe it's already Wednesday evening and I haven't even had a second to write to y'all - let alone catch up on my blog reading (I hear the grumblings - no worries my friends I'll get there!)

I wish I had something funny or witty to say at the moment but reality is I'm spent. Toast. My holy shit I have how much work to do part of my brain has completely enveloped my humor side of my brain. It's depressing really. I see something or hear something funny then seconds later it's gone. Vanished. I mean I'm not about to go all Owen Wilson on everyone (too soon?) but eventually I'll snap out of it.


Perhaps a visit from Cher herself would help me 'snap outta it'

I'll find my inspiration somehow, someway. Don't lose faith in me just yet. I'll get you laughing again shortly.


News team UNITE!

Just grin and "bear" it




There's a bit of a crisis in Lake Tahoe these days. It seems that global warming has taken some winter jobs away from the ever present black bear population which have caused the bears to have to resort to other means to get their yearly income. Some bears have joined the lucrative real estate market, others have found employment in casinos. Yet the ones that were previously employed as ski instructors or ski resort lift line workers, have had problems regaining employment in the area.


This lucky bear found employment as a Pepsi taste tester


Jack, 3, was able to find employment as a garbage man


Benny, 7, is now a drive thru banking teller

Some bears have been forced to give up their homes and are basically wandering the area homeless, unable to afford the rising rents in their dens anymore. These bears have resorted to a life of petty larceny, breaking into other bear and human residences in order to grab some "bare" essentials, such as food and water. Other, craving the luxury of their former homes, have treated themselves to romps through strangers hot tubs and have even used the bathrooms in the houses they're breaking into.


Bears in Lake Tahoe have been slowly forced out of their homes, causing them to use neighbors hot tubs for relaxation

Some of the bears have been messy, leaving behind a trail of damage after their romps through the houses. "They went into my sisters room and pooper on her bed" said Danielle Hyde.


The scene after a renegade bear left his neighbor's kitchen in shambles

Other bears have more been neat and courteous. "I chased a bear out of my living room. He'd been eating Chocolate Kisses. I found 15 wrappers on the floor - just wrappers, no chocolate mess. He was much neater than my own kids ever were" said Gloria Bourke. Another homeowner said "...he was a perfect gentlemen. All he took was a tub of Java chip Starbucks ice cream and a five-gallon tin of popcorn" said Tower Snow, Jr.

Regardless of the aftermath, the residents of Lake Tahoe will need to live with their new inhabitants as these bears search for a better means and more gainful employment.

(Note: this above story is based "loosely" on an article that appeared in People magazine. The photos and quotes are real...the story is a slight twist of the truth. All bears gave their approval to use their name and likeness in this story.)

Life's a "breeze"

So on Saturday, Avi, Lauren and I ventured off to do some fishing. Instead of hitting one of the party boats in Sheepshead Bay I suggested we take a trip to Breezy Point (Queens) and fish off one of the jetty's on the beach (which would also double as a beach day)!

So we headed to Brooklyn to pick up my mom's car and some equipment and headed out to Breezy Point, which I haven't been to in years. For those who don't know Breezy Point, it's basically a very small neighborhood at the western tip of the Rockaways adjacent to the Atlantic Ocean. If it wasn't for the Rockaways and Breezy Point, most of Brooklyn would be like the lost city of Atlantis because the water would surge completely inland.



Anyway, we drove to the end of the penisula and parked next to the Breezy Point Surf Club. I figured it would be a short walk from there so we unloaded the car and carried our gear towards the beach.

Well, small problem was that we had a cooler full of beer, ice and bait, bags of beach towels, rods and other equipment to fish with. So we weren't exactly carrying light. The other small problem? I failed to remember that we had to walk over 1/2 mile in the sand dunes to get to the beach.



Everytime we thought we were close, we had another twist and turn in the path. Buzzards were circling over us waiting for the moment we dropped in exhaustion. It really felt like another world, with 10' tall grass and thick as molasses sand dunes. Sweat poured down our brows as the gear became heavier and heavier. It was crazy...I never remember the walk being as long or as tedious.

Finally we got to the beach and dropped our cooler and bags straight down. We took a few deep breaths and tried to catch our bearings. People were laid out on the sand, sunning themselves and playing in the surf.



I looked to the right and figured the jetty would be right near us. Nope. Not even close. The jetty was farrrrrrr in the distance. Like another 1/2 mile or so!


The jetty was barely seeable from here!

You have to be kidding right? How big can Breezy possibly be? We should have been in Jersey by now with the amount of walking we did!

That was a big discouragement to say the least. We were dying of heat and fortunately Lauren and I came prepared by wearing bathing suits (Avi wasn’t as thoughtful) and headed into the water to cool off. I normally like to dive right in, but it was still fuckin cold! Felt good initially, until my nipples started to freeze over and then I headed back to the sandstorm (true to the name, there’s always a brisk ‘breeze’ in Breezy). Seriously, it felt like we were in the middle of a sandblizzard. Sitting down, the sand whipped into your back. Laying down the sand pounded your face. The only salvation came when we opened the cooler and busted out the 6 pack of refreshing Light Mike’s Hard Tea!



Awesome stuff! It's a little less sweeter than the previous versions of Mike's Hard Tea and goes down supersmooth. I think I drank two bottles in 2 minutes top. Probably could've drank another 20 or so. Definitely worth trying, especially on a hot summer's day.

After about an hour or so of laying around we decided the trek to the jetty would be too far, so we decided to surf cast. We only had 7 foot rods, where normally surf casting requires a 15-20 foot rod. So needless to say we were in trouble. I ventured into the ocean and attempted to cast past the waves, which failed miserably. Avi had better luck casting, until the reel popped off the rod and the line snapped off, taking the weight and hook with it. Not only happened once, but twice. Hmm. Note to self, you can't overhand cast a fluke rig. I guess there's a reason you only fish for fluke off boats, you're supposed to drop the line deep down and let the fish bite. We learned this the hard way. Twice.

Anyway I had another 5 pounds of squid that I didn't know what to do with. And since everyone else I asked wasn't fishing for fluke (I guess they were fishing for syringes?) I ventured out into the water and let the squid go. The seagulls ate the squid in about 2 seconds so so much for feeding the fish!

Anyway...no catches of note for us. Besides catching plenty of sand in our eyes, nose and ass. Ok, maybe not ass...but I wouldn't be surprised if some ended up there! Heading back from the beach we cut through the Breezy Surf club where we were able to walk on concrete and not sand. No wonder why they charge their members $50 per visit!

However, since I never published the pictures from our trout fishing trip a few months back, to make me feel better about fishing, here's Avi with his trophy wild trout caught at the Morsston house back yard stream in Livingston Manor, NY





And here's my big catch from that weekend's fishing trip!



Pretty sweet huh? Needless to say that branch was able to feed us for weeks!

The Cubicle Cookbook

Had a busy weekend doing some fun things...including taking Avi and Lauren on an adventure to Breezy Point to do some fishing (or attempt to). But more on that later when I upload the pics from my digital camera.

But, one of the things I've been wanting to mention for a while but haven't got around to it yet, was a result of me cooking in my cube recently.

As you've seen from past posts, I've resorted to grilling sandwiches on my portable Hamilton Beach grill at my desk.

Today was no different as I turned my rather ordinary brought-in turkey and cheese sandwich on wheat bread into a nice grilled turkey and cheese sandwich that melted in my mouth.





The funniest part of cooking in my cube is the smell of grilled goodness permeating throughout my office. Everyone is like, damn that smells good!

One of my co-workers Beth was joking around one day and said I should start a cubicle cookbook! That's a fantastic idea. Another co-worker Lori said I should have a daily menu and start charging people for "cube-cooked" lunch. Another fantastic idea! Hey, maybe I won't need to depend on "cart lunch" anymore if I'm just going to be cooking in! And if I can make some money on the side as well that's even better. Although I think I'll need to purge some files and set up a kitchen countertop. That and I'll need a bigger griddle. Cause if I'm gonna make a profit, pumping out one sandwich at a time isn't gonna cut it!

Excuse me miss, you dropped your tampons

Actually, that’s the second time in my life I’ve seen someone drop their tampons.

The first time was at a duane reade about 12 years ago. A lady dropped a box of tampons on the ground as she was juggling her other feminine products in her hands. I noticed her struggling and kindly picked up her tampons for her and handed them to her. She was a bit embarrassed, but i was young and didn’t really care. She was actually really pretty, which is one of the reasons why I picked them up for her (I know, I know…typical man!) But hey I was 18 years old and just being curteous. My momma didn’t raise no fool!

The second time was decidedly a more embarrassing situation. I was waiting for an uptown 2/3 train at 34th street last night and there was this girl who was
a bit disheveled.

She bent over and out of her overnight bag fell out a single tampon. At first she didn’t see said tampon fall to the ground. Another lady pointed to the ground behind her and she noticed. The girl who dropped the tampon looked at it and was immediately embarrassed. She waived her hand at it and said she didn’t need it.

Then a few seconds later after she was beat red, she paced around staring at it and started crying. Then she walked away quickly in embarrassment. I didn’t know whether to laugh or feel sorry for the chic. I looked at the woman who originally pointed out the tampon to the girl and she just shrugged her shoulders with a slight smirk.

I mean at some point the girl should have just picked up the tampon. No one around her really cared. I didn’t even pay her much attention. Although I could see where it would be embarrassing. I dropped my dildo once on a crowded subway platform. Everyone saw. And laughed. And pointed at me and called me names like Dildo boy. So what if I pissed my pants on the spot. I picked up my dildo, placed it back in my bag and continued on with my day. But this girl…she panicked…and cried…and ran. Poor thing. Maybe she was French!

Anyway, right as the train was coming I took a picture of said tampon and then hopped on the train. Although I’m sure some asshole probably reported a “suspicious package” on the subway platform.


Is that a suspicious package, or just a tampon?

Could you imagine. The SWAT team comes out. The white gloved bomb squad comes in.

“What is it sir”?

“I’m not sure, it’s some foreign torpedo like device. (looking through x-ray scope). Oh my god…run away…it has wings!”

Yeah, I’m sure it’ll go down exactly like that. Either that or someone will have just gone about their commute home and found themselves a tampon. Call it their lucky day! Some people find pennies. Some find tampons. You know, you can get a pretty penny on the street for a tampon…especially the unused ones!

What I've Learned

So I've learned a lot over the past 199 posts. I've learned that I enjoy blogging...and each day that I can't post an update I'm extremely saddened (thus this would qualify as being one of the saddest weeks of my blogging life as far as that is concerned). But hey, since I'm not being paid to blog (at least not yet anyway), I have to "pay the bills" with my full time job, so no shit about the lack of updates this week, ok? Good.

But over the past 199 posts I've learned that I have the uncanny ability to sometimes make people laugh and spit food out of their nose. Also I've learned that I have the ability to disgust people thoroughly with my sometimes "adult content" and "bathroom humor". I've also undoubtedly led some to permanently boycott my blog thanks to some crude and outlandish behavior. But hey, I'm a Brooklyn born and raised'er...who said I wasn't supposed to be crude and outlandish.

I've also learned that there are a lot of funny and talented people in the world. I know I haven't even scratched the surface of all the talented bloggers out there, but special thanks to the friends I've made over the past year in this little community of ours. You guys are truly an inspiration to keep writing and provide content that hopefully exlicits a few chuckles or a hearty guffaw.

But enough of the sentimental bullshit. You read me to laugh. I'm a humor blog. Much like the much ballyhooed Angry German kid of YouTube lore, you throw temper tantrums if I'm not funny.



So without further adieu, here is the "200th What Pushes My Buttons post"! (cheers, yells, whistles!)

A few things came to mind when I heard that a steampipe had exploded by Grand Central. Knowing the magnitude of the event was pretty serious and people were injured and businesses were disrupted, I couldn't help but to make a few "puns" while downing beer after beer in the airport bar last night waiting out a 5 hour plane delay (drum roll please):

I didn't know they turned Lexington Avenue into "Steampipe Alley"!

Looks like today is a real "steam bath".

New York City has just changed their official marketing song from "I Love New York" to "We've got 'Steam Heat'"

Ok...that's enough. Thank you. Thank you. I'll be here all night. Try the veal.

But seriously it was a scary situation for all those involved. Undoubtedly the tickle in my throat today is due to some airborne asbestos floating around.


I think I'm getting the "black lung"

A few of you have asked me if I'm giving away any "presents" for my 200th blog celebration. Well frankly that's not in the budget yet...BUT what I do want to give you is...



My dick in a box! Enjoy!

On the road again...

Although I really can't wait to get BACK from the road again. I've been down in Orlando for our annual sales meeting since Sun am. Yes, Orlando. In July. Needless to say I'm burnt crisp from 2 days spent on the golf course (i know, oh pity me!) But hence why I haven't been able to share some fun with y'all. Actually I was just able to get internet access right now, but alas I have to head out for a client dinner in a little bit.

I'll be back to tell some fun stories in a bit...but for now, enjoy this puppet rendition of Hasselhoff drunk on the floor. Haven't laughed this hard in a long time. It's a parody of Hasselhoff drunk on the floor that has been the "clip" around the net for the past few months.



Enjoy and hope to have a good update for you soon...especially being that my next post will be my 200th!!! Major milestone I guess...since ever other blogger seems to celebrate their 200th post.

Was there a year one?

So Bridget and I are taking the Metro North back to NYC tonight and these two teenage boys are sitting in the seats in front of us across from each other (like typical teenagers they were taking up a group of seats by laying across them). One of the boys says to the other: "man it's crazy...we're gonna be graduating college in like 2013. That's crazy.".

The other teenager just nods and says something like yeah, I can't believe it.

The first teenage now says one of the stupidest things I've EVER heard come out of anyone's mouths (and I've heard some stupid things heard over the years). The teen says: "Yeah, I don't know why they just don't reset years. Like start at 100 or 1000 or something. (long pause) Was there a year one?"

He honestly said that in all sincerity. Was there a year one.

The other teen didn't answer right away and I noticed he shot his friend a "what the fuck" kinda look. Like are you serious dude.

Well the teen who asked said question waited for a response. No chuckle. No "I'm just fuckin with you". He was dead serious.

So the obviously smarter teen said something like "umm, yeah dude...when Christ died they started the calendar after his death. But before that they counted years too."

To which the dumber teen said...oh cool.

Oh cool. Nice. Dude...lay off the fuckin drugs. Seriously. Unless you're planning on enrolling in P.C.U. then you should really make sure you're living on this planet.

Anyway I found it kinda funny. I whispered to Bridget "did you hear what that kid just said". Which she didn't. And I don't blame her. She was wrapped up in reading People magazine. Although after telling her we shared a laugh...and then went back to reading about things that matter most in this world...like celebrities.

I can't believe Prince Charles was caught wearing all of Lady Di's clothes. And Liberace was gay? Who would have saw that coming???

Breaking news out of the Caribbean

For those fans of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies I have some said news for you.

Popular character Davy Jones, who made his first appearance in the Pirates of the Caribbean 2, was found dead on the beach this morning filming a scene for Pirates of the Caribbean 4.



Shooting for the movie, which was supposed to be a secret following up on the smashing popularity of the Pirates trilogy, has been temporarily postponed.

"The stench on the beach is overwhelming" said one of the production members. "Davy must have been rotting away on the beach all night" he added with a white surgical mask covering his face.

No word on cause of death, although speculations are that a golf ball got lodged in Jones' throat during an action scene in the water.

According to a director, Jones was being beaten back into the sea during one of the scenes. When he disappeared under the surface we figured it was all part of the scene. Jones has been known to stay underwater for hours at a time, trying to fully encompass his role of an "underwater monster".

Jones' character is based on the fictional Davy Jones, who is known in folklore to have placed a curse upon pirates. Jones' mystique is largely due to his infamous "locker" which swallows all of the "bad" pirates and their ships, leading them to be cursed for the rest of their lives.

"We wrapped up shooting and told Davy we'd see him at the bar later" says the director who chooses to remain anonymous. "He never showed up but we figured he just was rehearsing his lines underwater" added the tearful director. No word yet on whether funeral arrangements have been made, although the beach was flooded with lawyers earlier today.

"We believe the Jones' family is in for a huge, HUGE payday" said one lawyer with Jacoby & Meyers, who was among one of the first on the scene.

In an unrelated story, that may be tied to Jones' death, Michael Richards was seen hitting golf balls from a driving range on an island not too far from where the shooting was. Unfortunately Mr. Richards, best known for his role as "Kramer" on the television series Seinfeld, was unavailable for comment.

More on the story as news develops.

My new invention!

So yesterday I was motivated enough to bring my own lunch. I had made a sandwich consisting of turkey breast and cheese w/ mustard.


My sandwich "pre-grilling"

However I really wasn't in the mood for a "cold sandwich"...so remembering that I had a Hamilton Beach (Foreman like) grill at my desk (because doesn't everyone have a portable grill at their desk), I decided to play mad scientist and "grill my sandwich".


My sandwich "post-grilling"

And boy was that just the smartest move ever! The bread was nice and toasty. The cheese slightly melted, the turkey warmed through. What an ingenious idea! I mean, just think how much I singlehandedly just revolutionized the sandwich eating industry! I can develop a chain of "sandwich" shops who's catch is that all of the sandwiches are grilled! That would be awesome wouldn't it?

Wait...what do you mean those already exist? Fuck! Are you kidding?!?! Goddammit...everytime I think of a good invention someone else beats me to it.

Anyway...got a lot on my plate today so this one is short and sweet for now...I may be back for more later...if Lumberg lets me.


Hello Chris, what's happening. Yeah, I'm gonna have to ask you to stop blogging for now. The TPS reports are due asap. Thanks!