Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Breaking news out of the Caribbean

For those fans of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies I have some said news for you.

Popular character Davy Jones, who made his first appearance in the Pirates of the Caribbean 2, was found dead on the beach this morning filming a scene for Pirates of the Caribbean 4.

Shooting for the movie, which was supposed to be a secret following up on the smashing popularity of the Pirates trilogy, has been temporarily postponed.

"The stench on the beach is overwhelming" said one of the production members. "Davy must have been rotting away on the beach all night" he added with a white surgical mask covering his face.

No word on cause of death, although speculations are that a golf ball got lodged in Jones' throat during an action scene in the water.

According to a director, Jones was being beaten back into the sea during one of the scenes. When he disappeared under the surface we figured it was all part of the scene. Jones has been known to stay underwater for hours at a time, trying to fully encompass his role of an "underwater monster".

Jones' character is based on the fictional Davy Jones, who is known in folklore to have placed a curse upon pirates. Jones' mystique is largely due to his infamous "locker" which swallows all of the "bad" pirates and their ships, leading them to be cursed for the rest of their lives.

"We wrapped up shooting and told Davy we'd see him at the bar later" says the director who chooses to remain anonymous. "He never showed up but we figured he just was rehearsing his lines underwater" added the tearful director. No word yet on whether funeral arrangements have been made, although the beach was flooded with lawyers earlier today.

"We believe the Jones' family is in for a huge, HUGE payday" said one lawyer with Jacoby & Meyers, who was among one of the first on the scene.

In an unrelated story, that may be tied to Jones' death, Michael Richards was seen hitting golf balls from a driving range on an island not too far from where the shooting was. Unfortunately Mr. Richards, best known for his role as "Kramer" on the television series Seinfeld, was unavailable for comment.

More on the story as news develops.


neil from the uk said...

haha...i thought this was real...awesome!

The Brooklyn Boy said...

Haha ... Inspired satire my good man. Way to run with this all the way through.

Chris said...

Thanks Brooklyn Boy...btw...feel free to visit the WordPress version of this site too...same content, just more people commenting, including CDP, Ration Reality and the like.

Thanks again for stopping by...keep up the good cause!