What Pushes My Buttons

Who needs the Farmer's Almanac

I don't...i can tell you on May 19th, every year, it'll rain. It always rains on my birthday. Except for maybe once when I was 7. Why do you remember that you ask? I'll tell you why. I got stung by a bee while eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in my yard. Bastard bee...my hands swelled up and stung like hell. Only sucking the peanut butter off my swollen fingers made me feel better. I was more pissed off that the bee made me drop my sandwich on the ground then actually getting stung. Of course I tried to pick up the sandwich and eat it, but my grandmother smacked it out of my hands. Then again the sandwich was on the ground for 5 minutes or so, so I would have been crunching away on some ants. A little "critters on my crackers, bugs on my baloney" (only those who listened to Opie & Anthony make fun of Mary Kate & Ashley on KRock would get that...so that would mean only John and Sean would get that reference. But that's ok. It's still funny.)