Friday, May 19, 2006

Who needs the Farmer's Almanac

I don't...i can tell you on May 19th, every year, it'll rain. It always rains on my birthday. Except for maybe once when I was 7. Why do you remember that you ask? I'll tell you why. I got stung by a bee while eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in my yard. Bastard bee...my hands swelled up and stung like hell. Only sucking the peanut butter off my swollen fingers made me feel better. I was more pissed off that the bee made me drop my sandwich on the ground then actually getting stung. Of course I tried to pick up the sandwich and eat it, but my grandmother smacked it out of my hands. Then again the sandwich was on the ground for 5 minutes or so, so I would have been crunching away on some ants. A little "critters on my crackers, bugs on my baloney" (only those who listened to Opie & Anthony make fun of Mary Kate & Ashley on KRock would get that...so that would mean only John and Sean would get that reference. But that's ok. It's still funny.)

2 comments:

Olore said...

I'd like to recommend a good therapist. He's done wonders for many people just like you.

Dr. CrazyPants
212-555-1234
or toll free
888-IM-FREAKIN-CRAZY-DEAL-WITH-IT

Olore said...

in case you are wondering why i comment so much it's because i am an addict.

no, it's because you write some funny shit and i want to encourage more of it!