What Pushes My Buttons

Ain't no bagel worth no $1,000

Na ah. A bagel worth one large? Fuggetaboutit.

But it's the truth son.

Some fancy pants chef created this so called "$1,000 bagel" using white truffle cream cheese and goji berry infused Riesling jelly with golden leaves. Say what?



The bagel is the brainchild of chef Frank Tujague of The Westin New York hotel. Apparently proceeds from the bagel go to some foundation for aspiring chefs. But regardless could you imagine just asking for a bagel and cream cheese and having to whip out 10 benjamins to pay for it? Grandma Ruthie would have a heart attack. I mean a bagel with lox these days is expensive enough!

But, $1,000 for a bagel is just a drop in the bucket compared to this $25,000 hot chocolate!



Apparently this hot chocolate served at Seredipity (where else) called a "Frrozen Haute Chocolate," is a mixture of 28 types of cocoas, 14 which apparently are the "most expensive and exotic from around the globe". I'm sorry, but I didn't realize there were more exotic brands of hot chocolate than Ghirardelli. Fuck, I don't think I get much more fancy than the 60 pack of Swiss Miss.

If that's not enough, the dessert is "infused with 5 grams (0.2 ounces) of edible 23-karat gold and served in a goblet lined with edible gold. At the base of the goblet is an 18-karat gold bracelet with 1 carat of white diamonds. The sundae is topped with whipped cream covered with more gold and a side of La Madeline au Truffle from Knipschildt Chocolatier, which sells for $2,600 a pound."

Oh and to top it off, "it is eaten with a gold spoon decorated with white and chocolate-colored diamonds, which can also be taken home."

What the fuck. That shit better give you an instant orgasm in your pants and better get you laid all night...especially after paying $25k for that shit! You know how many women you can get at one time with $25k??? (Wait before you answer that, I forgot that's not even a drop in the bucket apparently at Scores, where that poor bastard ran up a $250,000 tab a few years back). How the fuck did he do that again?

And I'm sorry...if I'm buying my significant other a bracelet with 1 carat of white diamonds, I sure as hell ain't covering that shit in any chocolate or whipped cream. Talk about devalueing a piece of jewelry. Do that with a piece of shit piece of jewelry you buy at the mall or at Spencer's Gifts that ain't cost more than $1.

Ridiculous. Really. There's millions of starving people out there, and assholes are buying desserts and bagels for thousands of dollars. No wonder why so many people hate Americans.