Wedding season is upon us
With wedding season in full swing, and with Bridget & I committed to at least 6 weddings to attend this summer, it got me thinking about the whole wedding party thing. We've all experienced some drunken wedding doozies in our days complete with our share of memorable (or not so memorable) hookups. As everyone knows most hookups are started on the dance floor, for better or for worse. And we all know the dreaded equation of: dancing + drinking + beer goggles = hookup. Especially back when "we" (we = Marist crew) used to spend our freshman year completing the above equation numerous times at Berties. Especially when "we" hooked up with girls with one eye in this case we = Frank)...sorry Frank if you're reading :)
So I've decided to take a shot at which songs are traditionally played at weddings that get us in the mood to abandon our defenses and go for the hookup.
In no particular order:
"Wonderful tonight" by Eric Clapton. No brainer here. Extra browning points if you use this opportunity to dance with the 7 year old niece of the bride.
"Lady in red" by Chris De Burgh. Another no brainer. Especially if the female you're courting is wearing red. Although be warned of singing the lyrics terribly into her ear. That can lose you points right there.
"Hava Nagila". Huh you ask? A few reasons. First it gives you a chance to flex those muscles as you lift the bride in the air in her chair. Second it gives you a glance at just about every lady imaginable at the wedding, since you're flying around in a big circle. Three it gives you opportunity to hold hands with said available female (unless you're holding hands with the grandmother or a member of the male species - then it's not so good.)
"Electric Slide". Really. Don't knock it. The female to male ratio on the dance floor doing the slide is like 30:1. Seriously. Take a look next time.
"Have I told you lately" by Rod Stewart. Just don't sing the lyrics if you've just met the girl. That comes off just a tad to aggressively.
"The Way You Look Tonight" by Frank Sinatra. The perfect swooning and wooing song. Can't go wrong with Sinatra. Bonus points if you add some twirls and dips to the dance. Just don't drop her.
"Get down on it" by Kool and the Gang. This song is not nearly played enough at weddings. Sometimes it's thrown into that 60s/70s/80s medly. But it's a groovy dance track that lets you slip in for a little close-up action. Just don't pull a muscle in your back trying to go low.
"Amazing" by Lonestar. Just because it's the song everyone knows is completely overused at weddings but is ashamed to admit they like it. It's always a good fall back song for that simple slow dance.
"Don't want to miss a thing" by Aerosmith. Again another good fall back slow dance song. Not as cheezy as Lonestar.
"Laid" by James. Not played nearly enough. The lyrics practically lend itself to a cheap hookup. Great on finding the drunkest girl at the party -she'll be letting herself go on the dance floor. Swoop in right away before the other guys snatch her up.
"Last Dance" by Donna Summer. Last Dance = Last Chance for hookup. Clutch because it starts slow and ends fast. Bonus points if you can throw some fancy twirls and moves in towards the end.
Here's some songs you should avoid at all costs if necessary:
"Jump around" by House of Pain. No way to stop yourself from looking like an asshole as you mosh and jump your way around the dance floor. Especially if you knock the lady you're trying to pursue over. This song is only acceptable at Irish Weddings where everyone's a drunken mess anyway.
"Bust a Move" by Young MC. I don't care how good of a dancer you were back in the day. You're not anymore.
"Can't Touch This" by MC Hammer. Same as above. Just let the girls do the dancing on this one. As a guy, this also helps to weed out the goombas from the non goombas. The goombas will take over the dance floor with some fancy footwork. Watch to see the type of girls that are attracted to the goombas. Avoid them. Go for the girls that are laughing at them. They're the much cooler type.
Any other thoughts/comments?
Friday, July 14, 2006
Wedding season is upon us