Friday, February 23, 2007

The Beavers are coming

So apparently the 1st "beaver" was spotted in NYC in over 200 years. The beaver was spotted in the Bronx. Here's the article:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070223/ap_on_sc/bronx_beaver

Although I'm sure they'll later find out that the said beaver was actually a shriveled up prostitute from Hunts Point who got dumped in the river. Hey oh! Its funny though, since they are trying to develop the South Bronx (SoBo) into the next trendy area - redoing warehouses into condos and fixing up some of the crack houses. Although it's putting the squeeze on hunts point prostitutes since the area is trying to be "gentrified" with "types of people" who aren't out to get them some poontang.

Here's a quote from the article: "...beaver populations are expanding, and their habitats are shrinking," said Dietland Muller-Schwarze, a beaver expert at the State University of New York College of Environmental Science and Forestry in Syracuse. "We're probably going to see more of them in the future."

Although I guess the good news for the "beavers" is that having the South Bronx developed and gentrified is opening up a new clientele to those "beavers" who sell their wares in Hunts Point, especially the ones who have been featured on HBO's special "Hookers and Johns".

Beavers looking for work in the South Bronx

Wait. Am I confused? What? It was an actual beaver they spotted? Like the animal? Oh...oops. Well good luck to those beavers as well. Most of the union construction jobs have already been taken.

Speaking of union jobs it seems that rats these days are trying to get in on the action (I mean why should they be denied umemployment when most illegal aliens get employed too). It appears a gang of rats infiltrated a Taco Bell/KFC this am before the store opened "looking for work".

Read the story here: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070223/ap_on_fe_st/restaurant_rats


Rat looking to bus tables

Its a good thing these rats weren't trying to gain employment at a chinese restaurant...hey oh!

I won't finish the punch line if you're looking for one.

Anyway, rats have long been hard workers, mining our subways tunnels for centuries. They've also held memorable jobs in the restaurant industry before! In fact, who can forget the vital role rats played in the movie Muppets take Manhattan?? Rizzo the rat got himself and his friends a job in the kitchen at the diner and they saved the damn place. Even futher, his girlfriend Yolanda was the first female rat to gain a part in a movie and quite honestly was more attractive in her waitress role than most other human waitresses. Don't believe me...compare Yolando to Flo from Mel's Diner and you be the judge:


Yolanda lookin good in the kitchen


Flo from Mel's Diner

The rats went beyond the kitchen, exposing themselves to great danger when they went undercover to perform a "whispering campaign" for Kermit's Manhattan Melodies at Sardi's. They were swatted at, stomped on and thrown to the curb. Definitely broke all sorts of animal rights violations on the set. Did you hear them complain though? Not a peep. Maybe more workers should learn from rats and just do their jobs and not complain. Then maybe we'd have a more productive workforce in this country!

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Nice! Cue the pimp music and that deep baritone voice. Love that documentary. Especially that ugly nurse dressing hooker who gave the guys golden showers! Classic.

Anonymous said...

Dude you are seriously f*cked up! I love it!

Roger said...

You know dude...you're right. Yolanda is a lot better looking than Flo!

roger said...

Btw...hookers and johns wasn't as good as the sequal, Atlantic City Hookers. Still just as entertaining though.

Titus said...

The king of random references is at it again!

Neal from the UK said...

Ha...nice comparison. I think you may be right...Yolanda is hotter!