What Pushes My Buttons

Staring Problem

So this morning I'm sitting on the subway reading AM New York and this lady across from me is staring at me. Thinking she may wanna read the paper too I open it up wider and lift it for her so she has a good view. I read an article, glance up and she's still staring at me. Another 60 seconds go by, I dart my eyes up...same thing. Full out stare. And not one of those I'm staring into space stares. This was I'm staring at you intentionally kinda stare.

Then I start thinking. Do I know her from somewhere?

Nope...never seen her before.

Do I have something on my face? Did my goiter grow overnight? Am I showing too much cleavage?

No...no...and perhaps...


Goiter? What Goiter?

But she's still continuing to stare dead ahead at me. And I started to get uncomfortable. She wasn't the most attractive nor skinniest of people. Actually I was getting quite worried that she was eyeing me up as her breakfast. Honestly. She had that cannibalistic look in her eye...the "get in my belly" kinda stare that Fat Bastard had in Austin Powers



Needless to say I buried my head deep into the paper. I noticed no one was sitting next to me anymore but the woman was still there, practically salivating. I could've sworn I saw her place a bib around her neck...then again I didn't have my glasses on so it could've been an ascot...or a necklace...but regardless there was something eerie about this woman.

Thankfully the drama ended when she got off at 42nd street. I breathed a sigh of relief. Cause I didn't feel like being no one's breakfast this morning.

I was so giddy and relieved that I wasn't eaten, I jumped on the set of Soul Train and started dancing.



(That was me with the white pants doing the leg twirl in case you didn't recognize me)

Anyway, it's supposed to be a HOT HOT HOT one this weekend...so make sure you turn up your HOT 103.5 and listen to some Lisa Lisa and the Cult Jam.

Umm...

Wait...my bad. I thought I was in 1987 for a moment.

Well as Broadway Bill Lee says... "stay calm, kiss your mom, ban the bomb, do the best you can, remember God loves you man"