What Pushes My Buttons

Now THAT'S Luxury

So as some of you know I went down to Miami this weekend to visit my friend Scott who I know back from my production days at Maury. Scott lived in New York for the past 23 years but moved to Miami last year to expand his architecture business (and also pursue some movie work on the side). Anyway I stayed at Scott's new Miami Condo and let me tell you the definition of luxury is MUCH different in Miami then it is in New York. I mean they classify my building as luxury, with it's "concereige service" and "granite black countertops" (side note: wouldn't it be great if some developer opened a shithole type place and advertised it as the next big thing in unluxurious living: Now available! Unluxury at its finest! Linoleum floors in the kitchen. Shag carpeting wall to wall! Carpeting on the walls! 5' round rubberized wading pool that doubles as a birdbath! And every apartment comes with their own washboard for laundry! Call now!) but I know that my building is not the definition of luxury and that there are plenty of luxurious buildings in NYC that have all the bells and whistles needed to attract the uppidy upper class. But good luck trying to find that for under $1 million.

Well to put this all in perspective, Scott's place is basically a 2 bedroom/2 bath apt with dining area, separate kitchen and plenty of closet space. And a balcony that overlooks Miami Beach. Here are some of the views from the balcony (it's on the 20th floor of the building - click for bigger views).

Facing North (towards N. Miami/Ft. Lauderdale)

Facing West (towards South Beach/Atlantic Ocean)

Facing South (towards Key Biscayne)


The pictures don't really do it justice, but trust me it was a pretty view. And if you think that's impressive, try adding on the rooftop deck on the 25th floor that has 360 degree panaromic views of the entire Miami area, two solariums, a pool and sun bathing area that has unobstructed views of downtown, a few card and billiards rooms, two gyms, a restaurant, free parking garage, laundry rooms on each floor and a partridge in a pear tree. Ok, so maybe no partridge, but all those add-ons would easily cost about $1-$2 million for a similiar place in New York. And not all of Miami real estate is cheap, some of the places on South Beach range in the millions. But this place was just as comparible (minus the direct ocean view) and only cost............ $400k!! Unreal. My mouth nearly hit the floor when he told me. Granted it's Miami and business is not booming there unless you're in construction, real estate, modeling or drug smuggling, but still pretty damn impressive.

So needless to say I was a little jealous. But at least it's a free place for me to visit once in a while!!

So there's definitely a difference in luxury in NYC vs. Miami.

Anyway besides the fact it poured most of the weekend Miami was fun. But the real treat was flying Delta Song down there. Having a TV at your seat is awesome! Oh and the funniest moment of the weekend came when I was coming home last night. I basically was sitting in the last rows of the plane so I boarded first. Well I get to my seat and no one is around except for me and the stewardess. Well no sooner do I sit down does she say, "I think we're out of coffee". Now only those who've seen Airplane/Airplane II would find that funny as you'll remember the scene where Julie Hays announces to the plane that they are out of coffee and a full scale riot erupts. Anyway, the flight attendent gets on the phone to the cabin and says again "I think we're out of coffee". I only wish I had someone there to laugh with because I was about two seconds from losing it on a plane.

One more funny story, although either you have to be there or listen to me imitate the voices for you, but trust me it's funny. On the way down Sat at 8am I had the pleasure of listening to this couple in their mid 20s fight. She called him by his name, Jonathan, at least 50 times during the fight. No exaggeration on that one. Every sentence began with Jonathan. "Jonathan that is so not fair". "Jonathan you know that's not the truth." I swear to god if I was him I'd smack her upside the head and say from now on call me John bitch. It reminded me of being called Christopher when I was in trouble, or by my 8th grade english teacher who called me Christoepha in her thick long island jewish accent even though I told her just call me Chris about 100 times. It was the annoyance of the voice, like a parrot was repeating it non-stop that brought back bad memories. The girl threatened to walk away during the fight and let Jonathan take the plane ride by himself. He actually said go ahead. She took 3 steps, turned around and said "Jonathan...". I was the only schmuck who sat there and listened to them. Everyone else changed seats because she was that annoying. I found it irratating but oddly amusing, half hoping he would give her a choke slam through the ticket counter. Unfortunately they didn't sit near me so I couldn't hear if they were fighting the whole way down.